This semester at my college is my worst, I'm sure. I've never done this bad before. I haven't really done good(meaning, I usually finish a semester off with a lucky A, the rest Bs and one C.) But I've never done this bad... I'm sure to have one A but the rest will probably be Ds(IF i manage to study enough or at all) and one C.
I have class right now, and I really really want to go, but I just can't push myself hard enough to get in the shower and go. I had an essay due in that class, and even though I had enough time to finish it, I did even start it... it's not worth a lot but,,, I've never missed an essay in a class.. never. I always do them albeit at the very last minute. This semester I missed atleast two and turned in an extra two late... Again, something that I've never done. The worst part, is that this semester I feel more apathetic toward getting things done than guilty...
That's why this semester is the worst. I missed so many classes and this is the last day for class before finals and I won't get out of my bed and go.
When I'm not doing what i'm supposed to, I'm usually drawing, mainly using the internet, listening to music to drain out silence and eating. I gained 10-15 pounds this semester, my room's a total disaster, i have so many unfinished projects...
I just hate myself. I want to get up and do something, but it's like my mind, spirit and soul are 3 different entities. my spirit wants to get up and do something, my mind does sometimes, and my body is lazy most of the time. ...I dunno, it's confusing. But, long story short, I came to this forum to finally tell someone what i'm going through, and I'm here in search of a support group. I live in Hawaii, so maybe there isn't a support group here, so I'm looking for online support... I'm desperate. I really really really want to change. I dont' like who i am right now. :((
Procrastination has costs me so much money (i.e. late fees & etc by not paying things on time), has made me lose so much valuable time, also friendships (by not taking the time to try to stay in contact) and many opportunities omg!
I'm going to see a school psychiatrist for the first time in my life tomorrow, but , i have doubts about how a psychiatrist can help me... (;_;
I just need support... I'll support anyone,, I just want someone to be there to hear out what I'm going through.. and serve as a support... (;_; I know.. I'm asking too much. I'm sorry. Any kind of support would be helpful though.
Thank you anyone and everyone who read up to this point.
my email address is firstname.lastname@example.org
. I would like someone who's similar or has gone through similar situations or just plain willing to be a source of encouragement like the "checkin" forum to keep up with each others plans for the day and serve as mutual encouragement........ (;_; again.. I'm sorry for asking for so much...