Friday March 5, 2021

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How does one politely decline giving their story for international woman's day, if they do not identify as a woman? (Rhetorical question, since I'm not asking.)  Coming out at work is not even an option, b/c nobody will understand what I'm saying, even if I do come out, as I already have.  I already said I preferred they/them pronouns, and they did not understand. I honestly feel that my being trans is just completely not something people at work even have the ken to process.  I do not mean this in any kind of insulting way; it's like I'm literally giving input to the computer in their head that they do not know how to process; even the notion that I identify as trans is not something they can imagine.  I am not being insulting just true to my experience, where i present obviously as trans, but still get called what they want to call me.  I have been dealing with this since college, when my professors asked me to take part in a woman's thing, and I did not know how to begin to explain, I do not identify as a woman. I understand from their perspective, they think I owe certain things to the culture on account of looking like a woman, which I earnestly disdain, but COVID means I don't get to give myself the buzz haircut I know and love, but first, it's not how I identify since I'm transgender, and second, I don't think women should have to share their stories, if they don't feel the desire to do so, either.  Apparently saying, "No, no thank you," did not work.  I feel good that at least I can identify openly in 12-step: I do not identify as a woman. Period.  The truth is, I cannot share my story at International Women's Day, because plainly, I am not a woman.  It's that simple.

Speaking of being trans, there are certain things i need to be able to do for myself, like, getting a haircut, which I can only do after I:

• have transportation
• negotiate my lease contract, at least try to get 50-100 USD off the rent. 
• do the dental work, b/c my dentist is an old school person who will not treat me equally or fairly unless I present as female.  He only likes women, preferably blondes.  It's what it is.
• schedule a hair cut appointment.  G-d I wish I could do that now.