Wednesday, 18th September 2013

For today I need to:
Finish staining, photograph slides
Finish poster
Drop off histology
Talk about FACs (people not available, will check back tomorrow)
Finish LASSO

pom poms cheering! Thanks dear Mole!

• readings
• read report 
• s and tidy
• visit from L
• rest
• email SC again
• order t online
• try to put reciepts in
• rest 
• refs go through list from bib 
• email v
• rest
• email C back
• files to M for S
• call ax
• rehab excercises 
• rest

Abstinence from unplanned time.

• The one thing, the only thing, i can do impulsively is write something on my todo list.
• The one thing, the only thing, i can do off plan is recovery, something to maintain my sobriety, when tempted. I have come to believe that it is more important to maintain sobriety than to get things done.

Abstinence from relying on self. AA Big Book says to rely on God. Quoted in my bookmarks : scroll down to "AA Big Book on fears : relying on God not self-reliance:"

• I have come to believe that it is more important to maintain sobriety of relying on God than to get things done.
  • "15 Points" point 5 says:
    

    5. Develop and rehearse a daily plan of thinking and acting by which you will live that day relying on God, regardless of what may upset you or how hard the old urge to rely on self may hit you.

    My Plan is this:

    1. read "15 Points"
    2. Meditate for 5 min on the attributes of God

:) ci
:-( start timers
:) v task
:) cL
:) time log
:-( quiet time
:) r task
:) s task
:) t task
:) 11am pa phone mtg
:) sort tasks
j task
:) do tasks
:) put away clothes
:) abstinence day counts
:) reflection
:) pre-plan tmrw

12:41pm:

12:37:40 ‹clement› i read "15 points for a self-oholic to consider when confronted with the urge to rely on self and not God" (my translation)
12:38:23 ‹clement› i think i could feel the dopamine balance in my brain change. that text might be an idea-driven dopamine pump

more: this could make perfect scientific sense.
say, a certain level dopamine is ambient in the intra-nueral space.
say, never cells receptors are blocked.
why? because of a brain imbalance. because of certain thinking patterns.
we know that reading and thinking change neurochemistry.
so it is possible that reading a particular text can change the pattern
of neuro-chemical brain activity such that those dopamine receptors are UN-blocked.
And the person feels happier.

1:12am (9/18, early morn 9/19):
[not tracking <15 min anymore (for now)]
It's been 00days 00hrs 00min since i last went on an off-plan bender >15min (1:12am 9/18/2013 restarted count)
It's been 00days 00hrs 00min since i last went on an off-plan bender >1hr (1:12am 9/18/2013 restarted count; abs his: (/ (+ 13 1 1 5 6 6 3 6 8 5 1 2 5 2 3 8 4 2 8 5) 20.0)4.7 ave, old-new)
It's been 00days 00hrs 00min since i last went on an off-plan bender >2hrs (1:12am 9/18/2013 restarted count; abs his: (/ (+ 5 14 8 6 12 9 8 13 11 4 2 9 23) 13.0)9.5 ave)
It's been 92days 21hrs 46min (mt) since i last went on an off-plan bender >3hrs (4hrs 1min, 11:25pm-3:26am 6/12-13 q surfing binge; abs his: 25,14,36; corrected 5/24).
It's been 92 days (mt) since i last went on an off-plan bender >4hrs (4hrs 1min, 11:25pm-3:26am 6/12-13 q surfing binge; before that: 78days).
It's been >170 days (mt) since i last went on an off-plan bender >6hrs (6hrs on 3/25/2013).
It's been 306 days (mt) since i last went on an off-plan bender >1day (11/15/2012)
It's been ~406 days (mt) since i last went on an off-plan bender >1week (1year 26 days : aug 8, 2013)
It's been 92days 14hrs 27min (mt) since i last relied on self. (6/10-6/13 10:45am overwhelmed with too many medium important tasks, no MITs; abs his: 14,50)

(mt) = not counting 5 day Mission Trip 7/15-7/19

• Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid?
• Do we owe an apology?
• Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once?
• Were we kind and loving toward all?
• What could we have done better?
  ---- had a little off plan tonight, maybe 1-2 hrs.
• Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time?
• Or, were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life?

THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR (everything i "did well" comes from god, either thru gifts he's given me or the way he's transformed me)

Taught first class. went OK, but i think next week will be better.
It was extremely exciting for me to finally do it after so much prep.
Godly music.
Recovery.
New time schedule that i think will work better.
My Sons' independence.

I want to thank my Higher Power for this program, this website, the telephone and online meetings, and my life.

I want to thank Mole for starting this trend.

Things I will do today

1. Go to the 5:45 a.m. telephone ACA meeting

2. Go to the 6:45 a.m. telephone OA meeting

3. Go to the 7 a.m. telephone DA meeting

4. Take shower

5. Go to the 8:30 a.m. telephone UA meeting

6. Go to the 9 a.m. telephone ACA meeting

7. Go to the 9:45 a.m. telephone CLA activity line

8. Cook and eat breakfast

9. Go to the 11 a.m. telephone PA meeting

10. Prayer and meditation morning and evening

11. Go to the 12 noon telephone Al-Anon meeting

12. Go to the 1:30 p.m. telephone UA meeting

13. Go to the 3 p.m. telephone CLA meeting

14. Eat dinner

15. Get dressed

16. Go to the bus station and purchase a monthly pass

17. Go to work at 5:30 p.m.

18. Go to the 9 p.m. telephone OA meeting

19. Go to the 9 p.m. online EA meeting

20. Go to the 9:30 p.m. telephone CLA meeting

Thanks for letting me share