A thank you from the bottom of my heart
In two weeks, it will be one year since I applied to be part of this site. Once I got access, I was met by a load of people who supported each other through difficult times. Everyone had different situations, backgrounds, reasons to change. But the common thread holds us together. Pro has kindly set up a place where we can all meet, and share honestly about our struggles and make public our determination to change.
But this site is much more than that for me. It has been the first place where I can be honest when I am having a really bad day. The day when you sit on the floor and cry because you don't know what else to do. The day where you say out loud that you've done hardly a useful thing all day, and people will still celebrate with you for the one thing you did do. You can find words to type that you cannot find with your voice.
This is the site where I finished crossing off my to do list about 2 hours before I watched my mum pass from this earth. I had come home for the first time in 5 or so days after being by my mother's side. And I even got some work done that morning. Because I had given myself permission to do something else. Several people posted their best wishes after seeing my check in. And this site and the people on it, were here for me as I began to make sense of the world afterwards.
I am not recovered from procrastination, or the underlying depression that probably fuels it, not even close. But I am better, and partly because of the PA I can see my progress and release some of the bad thoughts that hamper me in my recovery. I can also offer help and solidarity to others who are in pain and fighting to make their own progress.
So this is a long-winded thank you to you, Pro, for creating and maintaining this site despite your own struggles. Thank you to all the PA members past and present. Thank you for sharing your own journeys so that others can make sense of theirs. Thank you for doing your very best not to judge, but be understanding and supportive regardless of how someone chooses to make their progress. Thanks also go to a few people who should know who they are, who have offered personal notes of support to me when I've been in my darkest times. I will not forget.
Here's to another year of progress. However small it might be and however many steps we take backwards in going forwards.