Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

any thoughts on why, despite being so very late for this public presentation I am not feeling panic?

this has happened before, I am risking my career by not being where I need to be with this huge project, yet I feel kind of ok. Part of me thinks that this is becasue I know I can still pull it out of the bag, so to speak, and another (larger) part that i am protecting myself via denial. Does anyone else recognise this? 

MS: Keep it up!!!!!

Yes.....I call it my personal, "What will be will be," stage. Whatever you do, don't engage in self-hatred (which is what sometimes follows this stage - in my experience).  You've been working very hard, you're smart, you're talented. You've got nothing to be ashamed of.  You can do this!  YOU CAN!

@chatty

thanks chatty, that is good advice. You are right the next stage is self hatred and knowing that, and knowing it passes, is the first steps to avoiding it. 

re: no panic being late

 

Hi, ms, yes, I can only speak for myself of course based on my own very extreme experience, but to me this is a warning sign of a form of denial. Kind of like how the drug addict no longer feels the "high" after doing the same drug for so long. It's like a lull of complacency in a way, or testing the waters and finding out you're able to get away with the behavior and still live.

I know for me, I hit my worst bottom(s) this year repeatedly while having this same feeling. Normally, alarm bells would go off and red lights would flash if a person is about to get evicted from their home. Well some part of me deep inside was just shut down and went with it, and I STILL could not get myself to work to save myself! Even now, homeless 6 months later, I can STILL not force myself to take the necessary actions to turn my life around. The avoidance paralysis is that severe! It's not that I don't worry about where I'm at and what I've (not) done, because I do. But it's like some part of me is shut down and just refuses to respond appropriately to the tasks at hand.  I did finally call a work agency yesterday after putting that off this whole time, so that was a major improvement. 

Again, this is just my opinion of that "okay" feeling which I liken to a fire blazing and choosing to just sit there and not call the fire dept. Maybe that's an extreme example, but take it for what it's worth! 

 

thank you rising up.  I

thank you rising up. 

I recognise your story and see the flames. If i were to list what I am spending my time doing (over eating, over sleeping) I would know that I am afraid. i don't know what to do now. I suppose all there is is chatbox and list making and asking for help.

 x 

@ms

Hi Ms,

You are referring to something that I have noticed in my own behaviour. When I was younger I would procrastinate but be able to scare myself into action and pull things off. In recent years I have indeed noticed that the procrastination habit is worse because I am not able to push myself at the end. Indeed I think that experience is part of it: I know that I can pull it off and that whatever it is it's not going to be the end of the world. However, I have realized that with this sort of behaviour I will stagnate. Specifically, in my case, I will not be able to finish my PhD. So, all I can say is: you are not alone. And I think it is never too late to change these habits and create a life that allows us to grow.