Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Chronic Procrastination/Depression/Lazyness?!?!?!?!?!??!!
Well, I joined this website 11 weeks ago and funnily enough I've put off writing on here.
My procrastination has become worse in the last four years or so. Although I have procrastinated since being at school when it came to completing work etc.
I am now 29 and I feel that procrastination is impacting on my personal life and employment - everything basically!
I was prescribed medication for depression at 17 and I have been on different types of meds (currently fluoexetine 40mg) as well as attending various types of counselling - group, 1:1, pschodynamic and cbt but to no avail in reference to my procrastination! In fairness I do not believe it is recognised yet as a real problem. I myself have contemplated if I am just plain lazy or depressed or whether this is an illness in itself.
My procrastination/lazyness/depression means that I do not wash for days - in particular my hair, I dont attend to household chores (havent washed clothes for over two weeks) Im sure I sound delightful to you all! I recently got a parking ticket because I couldnt be bothered to get back on time and had to pay £25.
At work (and this is where I really struggle) I put off typing up my assessments (work for social care) and this in turn lets my clients down as they are waiting for paperwork etc to come through - i action things it is just the typing up that I have become to loathe. If I make another list of what it is I 'need to do' I think I will go insane!!
As a side affect to this procrastination I eat and sleep excessively to avoid what it is I am putting off. The sleep in particular bothers me as I am ALWAYS late for work, in fact I am late for everything - i put off getting up let alone getting ready till beyond the last minute - then rush - then get angry with myself for being late, then think tomorrow I will get up and do X, Y & Z (Usually a list is compiled with it being put in order and times at the side of how long it will take. None of this ever gets done and then I feel bad about failing at this - it is a vicious cycle.
I am always looking for the magic answer although I know deep down it will boil down to me getting on and doing something to initiate the motivation. However the negative voice in my head or the devil on my shoulder is always louder and more convincing.
I have also noticed another side affect to be for me to lie prfusely about where I have been and why I have been late or why I havent completed my work. The lies just pop in to my head as though it is the truth and roll off my tongue at a rate of knotts which is quite disconcerting. .
I have looked at going for more psychological therapy to address this problem in particular but at £60 a pop I cannot afford to do so. I am not convinced my doctor would refer me as he has said twice at two 6 monthly reviews that it is just my way of life and that we are all different! I have also told my old cbt service who put me on a be your own therapist course - which surprise surprise I didnt follow up the actions. I feel as though I need someone to hold my hand (so to speak) in getting me through this as it is so easy not to bother if they allow me to try on my own.
I dont think anyone can help but sometimes it is good to get things off your chest I suppose.
If you managed to continue to read this far then thankyou for taking the time.
Thanks :)
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Welcome Ali83 thanks for sharing
Hi Ali83
Thank you for sharing, and I think you've come to the right place! I can relate to some of the things you're saying for sure.. and I'm sure a lot of people reading will be able to. I think it's good to be honest here, and try to be honest with yourself.. as that will help us all move in the right direction I think..
I think it's much harder to be honest with others in our lives - which I guess is where the lying comes in! I think the majority of people would have a hard time understanding these issues! I'm certainly not honest with lots of people! Like when people at work say how was your weekend I'm not likely to say 'I stayed in my pyjamas for most of it, couldn't get motivated to do anything, and in the evening turned to wine to ease my pain, worry and annoyance with myself' lol! I don't think they'd like that honesty! yes lets keep those revelations between ourselves :-)
I'm very new here too and it took me about the same amount of time to actually post something! I also use sleep as an avoidance measure.. if I have something I really have to do... then I'll often convince myself I need an afternoon nap.. then wake up feeling groggy, crappy and annoyed with myself and don't get that thing done!
I've also suffered from depression, though mostly avoided medication.. though I guess it might have helped me I think it wouldn't deal with the underlying issue. Though I did take something for panic attacks as oh boy those were extreme! And what is the underlying issue?! It's complex and I'm not totally sure.. I'd love to have enough money to try out different therapies.. But i don't.. so it's really great to find this site, find like minded people, share with them, and try to make tiny tiny changes that could help.. and not ever ever giving up! Coz we're not 100% happy with our lives and I'm not ready to say 'ok well that's just the way it is!'
So I'm rambling.. as I do! I think you should go to your doctor and just say 'I simply can't cope and I need to see someone' They will always try to just give you medication.. as counselling costs more! You have to fight for these things though it can be hard when you feel that there's no fight in you. I saw a couple of psychotherapists briefly who kind of helped but not really in the long term.. It's hard coz you may or may not get someone who understands the issue.. but at the very least I hope you do get to see someone for free.. you are entitled to that! (depending what country you're in :-))
I think for me it helps to share a house with others. I'm not sure how my life would be if I didn't...left to my own devices maybe I would stay in bed all day!
Anyway Ali, welcome and good luck! Interesting to read the A.R.T.S. thing - that looks good! Anyway I best go and do something I'm really really putting off :-)
Dotty
You are among friends
Hi Ali83
I can't give you a detailed response, but certain things you said made me want to write something. You will find so much of what you have said is echo-ed by others here. I myself don't know if depression is the cause or sypmtom of my procrastination. I have only dabbled in counselling years ago, so I can't suggest anything there. All I will say is that you have made a step in reaching out to this community, and that is important. I find PA helpful in the nuts and bolts of everyday life. In getting a little step further along the road each hour, each day and to receive some support when I fall down. Make use of the tools, of the support. As they say, take what you need and leave the rest.
Best wishes to you on your journey.
KF
hi ali83 I relate to so
hi ali83
I relate to so much of this, the letting people down, the automatic lying and oh the sleeping and eating.... Part of it for me is depression too, but I never know where that ends and where the part of me I need to accept begins.
good luck to you.
ms
@ Ali83
You write a mean description Ali83! I recognise so much here. The sleeping, oh the sleeping I have done; The compulsive lying, oh yes (where do these excuses even come from?); the I-cant-be-bothered-to-wash, oh yes, know what you mean; the general avoidance of things... are you writing about me???
I hope you can find a way to continue your therapy. Which kind did you find most helpful? (I am also going to therapy at the moment (psychoanalysis), and making some progress, but my goodness it is a slow process). I did not seek therapy for a long time (I am 43 now) because, like you, I felt what I suffered from did not fit into a real category. Now I am firmly of the opinion that if something is causing a problem with how someone functions in everyday life, then that is a real problem.
I hope you can feel encouraged here at P-anon. I wish you all the best,
Hooch
Hi Hooch, thank u for
Hi Hooch,
thank u for replying it means a lot that someone reads the things I write.
I am going to give it another go with approaching the doctor and also my old cbt counsellor (I found cbt by far the best) I like proactive therapy as opposed to looking in to my past. I've done that so much in eleven years I get sick of talking about it.
hope your psychoanalysis continues to go well , however long the journey it HAS to be better than what we are experiencing now!!
Thanks again
Ali83
@ Ali83
That sounds like a good plan. And it is good you already have a counsellor in mind, then you know what you are getting into and what you need to do. I wish you all the very best with it. And thanks for your good wishes too. You are exactly right, therapy might be ... painful, expensive, time consuming, slow... but what other option do we have?!?
Cheers,
Hooch
(Ali83)
I am serching for "answers" as well. I do not believe my procrastination is an "addiction" and that is why I like this site. somethingwe read in the step meeting last nite I really identified with from ARTS:
I really identify with ARTS . I tried to see what they had listed as "promises" and they did not have it.
For me, I do not believe my procrastination is an "addiction" but more along the lines of what ARTS has posted:
"Every Twelve Step Program has a bottom line sobriety where an addictive
substance or compulsive disorder is not picked up “one day at a time.”
A.R.T.S. does not deal with addiction. A.R.T.S. members do have a
compulsive disorder to avoid their art as well as other parts of their
life. They block their destined life from happening. In A.R.T.S.,
bottom line sobriety begins with a humble daily action to pick up one’s
creativity, “one day at a time.” Members are asked to do no less than
five minutes of art every day."
think that avoidance can lead to an addiction, which
have been true for me, but the avoidance itself is more about what they
wrote:
substance or compulsive disorder is not picked up “one day at a time.”
A.R.T.S. does not deal with addiction. A.R.T.S. members do have a
compulsive disorder to avoid their art as well as other parts of their
life. They block their destined life from happening. In A.R.T.S.,
bottom line sobriety begins with a humble daily action to pick up one’s
creativity, “one day at a time.” Members are asked to do no less than
five minutes of art every day."
family dysfunction and they have a desperate need to feel safe from
perceived risks. Risks and that a sense of potential harm might show up
in different ways all over their life. This need to feel safe takes
control not only over their art but also over many other particulars of
their life. This fear manifest itself as a compulsive pattern of
avoidance. The Avoidant Syndrome paralyzes and blocks the flow of life.
that they can be the artist they always dreamed they could be. Well,
A.R.T.S. members identify with each other and they do care. Here in
A.R.T.S. meetings, members share similar experiences, witness each
other’s traumatic memories, and offer unconditional support for each
other’s creative process. Newcomers need to build and experience
empathetic relationships before they can recover enough to overcome
their paralyzing beliefs."
key to changing a habit is not to resist is but to replace it. keep comingback My "miracles" in PA came because I kept "showing up"
vic - what is A.R.T.S.?
Hi vic!
Can you please tell me/us more about A.R.T.S.? I read your comment and feel that I'd benefit greatly from knowing more. I tried to look up "A.R.T.S." in google and just got stuff about the arts locally... is there a website I can go to?
If you wish, you can send this info in a private message.
Thank you :-D
__________________________
"Do I prefer to grow up and relate to life directly, or do I choose to live and die in fear?"
-- Pema Chodron
( gotmusikk )
sent you e-mail, thanks moving brcauseofyou, Ihave learned somuch.
A.R.T.S. = Artists Recovering through the Twelve Steps
http://www.artsanonymous.org
Thanks movingalong
Sounds interesting.
H
Welcome, Ali
I can relate to a lot of what you said. For me, saying aloud (or in writing) a list of these chaotic aspects of my life ...
is one way to take "Step One" of the twelve steps .... admiting that procrastination has made my life unmanageable, and that nothing from my own willpower has had any effect on changing it.
For me, procrastination doesn't mean that I'm lazy or depressed.
For me, procrastination started out as a mixture of defiance, dread, and perfectionism.
Eventually, the original reasons no longer mattered because ... procrastination had become an ingrained habit, a default reaction to life -- what might be called a compulsion or an addiction.
The good news is that we can get help and support with overcoming this ingrained tendency ... one minute at a time.
Making a long list just triggers my defiance, dread, and perfectionism.
Therefore, I've learned to tune into the higherpower or Greater Wisdom of my own choice ... (which can be an energy, a concept, a deity, and/or a support group) ... to help me do what I wasn't able to do in isolation.
And with that help, I can work on my tasks, imperfectly, one small step at a time.
Hi movingalong, Thank you
Hi movingalong,
Thank you so much for replying it means a lot.
You hit the nail on the head:
defiance - I hate feeling like I am doing something because it is to fit in with someone elses schedule or if I feel that I do not have control.
dread - because I take no pleasure in writing the assessments as they are monotonous I put it off.
and perfectionism - in my assessments or getting ready or cleaning the bathroom I want to do it right therefore if I dont think I have enough time to do something or not in the right frame of mind then I put off doing it.
The more I talk about it the more I feel it is a psychological problem and become frustrated that people do not recognise it as such - doctors, friends etc.
I bought the book the procrastination equation but not surprisingly I didnt finish it.
thanks again for replying, hopefully I will one day start to get on the right track ?(and stay on it!)
:)