Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Step and Tool of the Week discussion: Step 6 and Tool 2
Following the 12-Step Online Biz-Meeting today, we agreed to post a thread each week so that PA members can be reminded of and discuss the next week's upcoming step and tool. At the end of the next 12-step meeting (Dec 2) we will ask for a volunteer to create a discussion thread for the subsequent week's step and tool, with a reminder in the daily check-in thread if they wish.
Step and Tool of the week are: Step 6 and Tool 2 ... please discuss!!!
* Step of the Week: Step Six
Were entirely ready to have God (HP) remove all these defects of character.
* Tool of the Week: Tool #2 -- Visualization
Break down projects into specific action steps; include preparation tasks in the breakdown.
Anyone can meditate and reflect on these, whether or not you are working the 12-Steps in general or Step 6 iin particular, and whether or not you can make the next Sunday online meeting. Keep in mind that forums (unlike the chatroom meetings) can be read by anyone, so you have to be discreet in the discussion below! And please preserve the chatrooms' anonymity, it is important to keep our rooms safe!!
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Is anyone working on (or completed) Step 6, or using Tool 2?
Without breaching your anonymity (or I guess divulging membership in any other 12-Step fellowships one might be in), is anyone working or has worked on Step 6 (possibly with a sponsor) who would like to share appropriately here on this and how this might be helping with their recovery from procrastination? (I'm still struggling with Step 3 at the moment in another fellowship so Step 6 seems so far away!)
Plus is anyone using Tool 2 who would like to share their experience so far in this thread? Success and disaster stories are all welcome!!
Sorry if this isn't the
Sorry if this isn't the right place to ask, but… where/when did the chat happen? I clicked on the chatroom link at 2:30 pm EST, went to the meetings tab, and didn't see anyone there. Lingered for a while, assumed it wasn't happening. But apparently there was a business meeting, so I assume that was preceded by a normal one?
Hi holdmylife
Regarding being unable to find the meeting, I replied to you here:
http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/4566#comment-58296
One more thought for the week - doing online meeting service
One more thought from today's biz-meeting, to recognize leading online meetings as an important contribution to PA. Could it be as service we provide to PA that each of us should sign up to lead an online meeting at least once a quarter/year? This may help (even force!) some of us - including newcomers - to overcome an initial sense of intimidation ... there is a tried and tested meeting script to use, and there will be someone more experienced on hand to guide those new to leading meetings. And giving service can really aid one's recovery! So do consider giving service to PA and sign up to lead in advance, more info here!!
Thanks
Thanks for starting this thread.
Hamlet
Doing online meeting service
I am a little concerned that Jack expresses a sense that everyone *should* take a turn leading meetings, as something that emerged from tonight's business meeting. This is just not what some people will want to contribute. We're all coming from a place of different skillsets. I shall be willing to take my turn when I've been here a little longer, and we may all reach that point in our own good time. Some of us, though, may never get to the point of feeling that self-confident because we're just not made that way.
I would hate to think some people - whose contribution to PA may be made in other ways - could be frightened off coming to online meetings for fear they will be persuaded against their better judgement to "take their turn" in leading the meetings.
For that reason I would be opposed to saying that everyone ought to lead a meeting every now and then - it just won't be the right kind of contribution for some of us to make to PA. There are other forms of service we can offer - copy/pasting information in at the start of meetings is one other form, keeping time is another form - just as the unsung heroes who offer encouragement (outside of the online meetings, elsewhere in the forum) when we post about dilemmas deserve our gratitude too.
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." (Anais Nin)
Optional and Aspirational
I had suggested that we consider leading the PA meetings once a while as a way of providing service to our community. This suggestion was made in recognition of 2 things (1) it is hard work leading meetings and those who do benefit the rest of us more than themseles; and (2) because it is hard work, it is very intimidating. I, for one, probably would never volunteer to do so, unless i felt strongly obligated (I understand that other members may not see the situation the same way). For myself, I have learned from experience that on those few occassions when I got up enough courage to try something hard, I ended up feeling better about myself. So, personally, i am hoping that I can work up to cuting and pasting and eventually leading a meeting-- hopefully in the next 12 months. Perhaps, by putting myself on the line publically (which is why i am writing this note), I will actually do it and gain some self-confidence. I understand that this is not everyone's preference, nor should it be. I would just add that leading PA meetings be both optional and aspirational.
Hamlet
gentle support & encouragement
Just to clarify regarding the above, during the biz-meeting the only decision we voted on and agreed was to post the step and tool of the week each week (which I volunteered to do this time).
No decision was made around who 'should' lead meetings. Just from my notes from the biz-meeting of what members were saying to make a mention to encourage those who might want to give leading a meeting a try to simply give this a go, and that there is an effective system which has been in place for about a year now (before my time in PA!) with the sign-up calender for folk to express their interest, plus good support and encouragement available for any new members leading meetings for the first time. But of course this is entirely optional!
Forgive my paraphrasing above if this sense isn't clear, and thank you for outlining some of the other ways members can give service in this fellowship.
@jack re: business meeting voting, etc.
Thanks for the clarification ...
I'd just like to add the following:
Our 12step meeting doesn't post any announcements onto the forums about the 12step meeting -- except for specific things that the meeting VOTES via "group conscience" should be posted.
The business meeting voted ONLY that we have a weekly forum discussion-post of the step and tool of the week.
During the business meeting, there were some brief comments made about the need for people to take turns anchoring the chatbox 12step meetings, and wouldn't it be nice if there were more people available or who felt comfortable doing it, and a brief discussion about different ways of learning. But it was just a few comments, and there was no "motion" made to suggest any course of action, so therefore no group conscience vote on the topic.
Your post suggesting a need for volunteers to step up and anchor once per quarter, was your PERSONAL idea/suggestion ... but you said it as a reply to this group thread with the subject line "One More Thought for the Week" to your post ... and this may have implied that this was a group decision. BUT we didn't vote as a group that this was one of our group's "thoughts for the week". Hence the confusion that your post caused for readers.
The principle of "group conscience vote" is a longstanding tradition in all 12step groups.
NOTE: I don't mean this as a "criticism" of anyone. Rather, I realize that many are new to this process and are learning, so I thought I would gently let everyone know.
With respect and appreciation for all,
movingalong
And thank you for posting the step and tool of the week.
One more from the Dept. of Clarification
Dear Movingalong,
Please see my note above stating that volunteering to lead PA meeting was my idea. It pretty much died as soon as I put it out there, so no vote was ever taken-- nor was a vote needed as there was clearly no consensus in support of it.
However, I decided that I wouldmake it a personal goal to develop the skill and work up the courage to lead a meeting. My reasons are: (1) it would be a good recovery exercise for me to try something that is hard and intimidating, rather than always practice avoidance; and (2)as you (and Findingaway and others) have demonstrated, leading PA meetings is clearly an important service to our community. I think it is important for the rest of us to both acknowledge and emulate what you have contributed to PA.
All the best,
Hamlet
Jack, I am sorry that you had to defend my suggestion. I am grateful that you took an interest in it. Hamlet
@hamlet, thanks and an apology
Dear Hamlet,
Thank you for calling your clarification "optional and aspirational" to my attention.
What I had responded to was Jack's wording "Could it be as service we provide to PA that each of us should sign up to lead an online meeting at least once a quarter/year? This may help (even force!) some of us - including newcomers - to overcome an initial sense of intimidation"
In my hasty reading of that, I saw the words "force" and "should" and then I reacted emotionally to those words, without fully reading what he had written.
This is a classic demonstration of me having "demand sensitivity".
(One symptom of "Demand Sensitivity" is a tendency to perceive that someone is making demands -- even when that's not what's actually happening)
http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/184
This is not an excuse. This is just a demonstration of my overreaction.
It says in the 10th step: "When we are wrong, we promptly admit it". So therefore, I now say that I was wrong to wildly misinterpret what Jack said, and to jump to conclusions, and then to overreact. I apologize to anyone who may have been upset by what I wrote.
Hamlet, I see now that your intent was simply to state your HOPE that you personally would be able volunteer yourself to try it once per quarter. Your intent was not to force this upon anyone else.
Thank you for your loving willingness to find a way to serve the meeting in your own way.
By the way, right now the chatbox is on limited duty due to the server load, so we can use it only for essential check-ins, bursting, and meetings.
But, in a few weeks, after Pro does whatever upgrade she has time/energy to do, perhaps we can make a time where we can make an extra "temporary chatbox room" for practicing/training anyone who wants to learn the copy/paste of leading the meetings.
Again I thank you for expressing your own willingness to learn/volunteer at some point in the future whenever you feel ready -- someday.
For anyone reading:
Anyone who volunteers to lead the meeting is WELCOME to do so. And I see now that there was never any suggestion that anybody be required to do so.
We will continue to follow the 12step Tradition of:
"The ONLY requirement for membership is a desire to stop procrastinating".
looking forward
Dear Movingalong,
Many thanks for your kind offer of tutorial. I will definitely want to take some lessons from you. Perhaps after the new year we will have better chatbox capacity (keeping fingers crossed).
Best,
Hamlet
hard not to feel discouraged ...
Just to clarify in your reply above, though yes I did post this suggestion above, the comment "Your post suggesting a need for volunteers to step up and anchor once per quarter, was your PERSONAL idea/suggestion", this is incorrect. This was NOT my suggestion and I would much appreciate you got your facts straight before making assumptions and posting like this. I am sure others in the biz-meeting will attest to this, that I did not make this suggestion .
I am doing the best I can from the mental notes I made from this biz-meeting, the first I have participated in. I know learning the protocols and making 'mistakes' is part of the course, but it is hard for me to not to feel discouraged by all this.
The bigger picture is that the fellowship is a supportive arena which I have benefited from, and I am grateful for the service that that we all are giving. Long may this continue.
my apology to jack
Jack, I'm sorry if my post sounded critical, that wasn't my intent. I have a very hard time with words, and they often sound to others as not how I meant them.
You are correct that you were voicing the ideas that some had mentioned during the business meeting. I realize that it wasn't your 'personal idea' that encouragement is needed for volunteering to anchor. Several people said that encouragement for this is needed. I'm sorry I used the wording I used.
I just meant that our meeting has previously voted to have the policy that we don't post these discussions unless we VOTE to post them.
(and yes I realize that you didn't know that -- so that was the intent of my post -- to let everyone know that our meeting had this policy, because obviously not everyone was aware of it. My intent was to provide information and not to be critical.)
Jack, I really do appreciate and respect you. And I know you are doing the best that you can. You really didn't know, as this was your first business meeting, and I totally understand that. I truly do understand that that you posted what you felt was appropriate according to your understanding -- and that your intentions were entirely honorable and supportive.
I do commend you for wanting to be of support to the meetings, and I do realize that was your only intent in posting! You came from a place of love and support.
I also acknowlege that I left the business meeting shortly before it closed.
After I left ... was there a vote that "encouragement to anchor once per quarter" be posted on the forums?
Did I miss this? If that was voted in, then I'm dead wrong and I totally blew it here.
If you would like to discuss further, I would be openminded and willing to listen -- please click on my profile to contact me. I would have contacted you privately but your profile didn't show that option. I really do respect your point of view.
Note to Jack: One way you can preserve your anonymity is to create a brandnew email address that relates to your recovery and doesnt have your real name in it, and then place that email address inside your PA profile (but only YOU will see it there) ... and then when/if you choose to click on any other member's profile to message them, it will show the email address you've placed in your profile as the sender of the message. And you can change that email address again at any time, if need be. So if you want to do that, I'd love to hear from you, and I will have no idea what your real name is -- all I will see is the email you have in your profile when you message me.
[to Jack, on another topic, you've mentioned working the steps in PA at some time in the future, and I'd love to discuss that with you privately, as there are some groups forming informally of PA members who work the steps together offline ... long story, contact me for more info]
thank you for your message
Thank you for you message and kind apology, it is much appreciated.
Just to clarify, after you left the biz-meeting there was no vote that "encouragement to anchor once per quarter" be posted on the forums. This wording was taken directly from one of the contributions in the biz-meeting that was made before the vote on creating this thread.
What I did with this service task I volunteered for was to do my best to incorporate all the comments and suggestions around this task, up to the vote and the yes result, when making this thread.
With best wishes as we move forward.
Agree with Sal, this wasn't voted in
We didn't vote to make any statement that people *ought* to take a turn leading the meeting.
It is optional.