Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
Introducing myself
(2 weeks after my account got approved. Of course.)
My name is Jesse, and I'm a compulsive procrastinator. I'm also a compulsive overeater, and I've been going to Overeaters Anonymous for a year, hence the habit of introducing myself that way. The fact is, however, that although the overeating is physically obvious to anyone who looks at me, the procrastination is a much more severe compulsion for me. If this online forum can give me even a fraction the help that I've gotten from OA's in-person meetings, it could save my life. Not that I'm at risk of dying any time soon — more that I'm already half dead. Or like Han Solo, frozen in carbonite. In a broader sense, I feel like I have this dread of entering a new phase of my life, becoming a new, successful version of myself. It's some combination of fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of mediocrity, fear of losing my identity which is so much based on avoidance of work. Fear that actually achieving a few dreams — let alone trying to and failing to achieve anything — will never measure up to the fantasies in my head, where I can do not just anything but everything.
I am in therapy, which, especially now supplemented with OA, is slowly helping me untangle myself. I have ADHD and depression, and take meds for them. They aren't nearly as effective as I wish they'd be, especially the ADHD meds - but they're a lot better than not taking them. I finished college 4 years late. I just quit a job in IT after 2 years, because I have no interest in IT as a career, and it was draining my soul. I don't really know what I do want to do with my career though. I've moved back in with my parents. The proximate cause of me finally writing my first post here is that I'm procrastinating a job application and an application to an entrepreneurship program. The latter is due tomorrow, and the former has no firm due date, which makes it harder - because frankly for all I know it became too late a week ago.
I could go on and on and on. Heck, I already have. (Why can't writing flow out of me this easily all the time?) If no one reads this, that's fine - it helped me a bit to verbalize some of this stuff. I join this community with high hopes, and can't wait to virtually and pseudonymously meet all of you. :)
- Login to post comments
Greetings
Welcome, Jesse,
It took me several months to finally log on after being approved. And it took me 11 years to get a bachelor's degree.
You're in the right place!
hi holdmylife
welcome and good to meet you.
I read your introduction nodding along, saying "me too" to so many things. I am a recovering binge eater and though that was the focus for my life for many years it is so clear to me that it was a coping mechanism for me whilst in the misery of procrastination.
Fighting binge eating is incredibly hard and I hope we can both use the strength and momentum from that fight in fight this too.
ms
Welcome
This is a great site with great people. i relate to alot of what you said. Fear of success. My motto for today is "Afraid of success? Try it. It might not be so bad".
Do it Now
Progress not prefection
Welcome holdmylife!
Glad you are here. :)
I followed the thread about your not making it to the Sunday online meeting, sorry it didn't work out and hope to see you there another time!
Hi Holdmylife
Yes, I saw your note about the meeting too. Sorry to hear about this technical glitch. I hope you will try again another time.
UPDATE: chatbox 12step mtg discontinued, but phone mtgs active.
I, too, saw your post elsewhere, about how you were at the meeting chatbox on time and waiting a while, but nobody was there. You must have experienced a technical glitch.
===================
UPDATING a year later:
The chatbox 12step meeting was discontinued in October 2013, but the phone meetings are still active
Phone meeting info at this link:
http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/5006
Thanks hooch & chattydo
Thanks hooch & chattydo :)
Hi Holdmylife
Hi Jesse, from a fellow Procrastinator, in fact I think you might be my twin! What you wrote here, certainly sounds like me.
< it could save my life. Not
that I'm at risk of dying any time soon — more that I'm already half
dead. Or like Han Solo, frozen in carbonite. In a broader sense, I feel
like I have this dread of entering a new phase of my life, becoming a
new, successful version of myself. It's some combination of fear of the
unknown, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of mediocrity, fear of
losing my identity which is so much based on avoidance of work. Fear
that actually achieving a few dreams — let alone trying to and failing
to achieve anything — will never measure up to the fantasies in my head,
where I can do not just anything but everything.
Or in fact not exactly me now, but me pre-Therapy. I am glad to hear that you are now getting the help you need. I wanted to offer a perspective from a bit further down the line. To me, therapy seemed an interminably slow process, BUT THINGS CAN REALLY GET BETTER.
> I could go on and on and on. Heck, I already have. (Why can't writing
flow out of me this easily all the time?)
A question I have seen repeated on _so_ many of these introductions. It is a very good question and I ask myself it frequently.
I suppose I came to the conclusion that it is the anxiety attached to certain things that make me REFUSE to deal with them.
<(2 weeks after my account got approved. Of course.)
Well done for getting registered and then writing such an articulate introduction.
v Best Wishes,
Hooch
Welcome!
Welcome!!!