Cold sweats and finding PA
To Pro and all the PA'ers on this site,
THANK-YOU for being here, from the bottom of my heart.
About 6 weeks ago I woke in a cold sweat thinking about my pile of unstarted or incomplete tasks. When I got up I searched the internet for something, anything, to help me. Then I found this site and read through stories that were so similar to my own. I had such a feeling of relief and empowerment. I learnt about demand resistance and similar concepts and had major aha moments. I felt like maybe, just maybe, with your wisdom and support I could work through these destructive habits and find a new way of working. Since the first day of finding the site I started the process of change and I now do the following;
- each day I fill in a notebook on what I need to do . This includes about 8 not-negotiable items (like exercise, taking my iron tablets, forward planning for the next day etc)
- Purchased and read the Procrastination Equation
- Using the free Pomodoro timer on the internet
- Disabled the incoming email alerts
- And most importantly I have read through this site for guidance and inspiration.
My weaknesses are 1. Accounts, 2. Tax and tax 3. Completing business work 4. Keeping in touch with friends
Before I sign off I want to share with you a remarkable thing that happened to me this morning and thanks is due to PA for giving me the strength to do this. A year ago I worked with a client and it was all going well and then, as it sometime does, it all went wrong. So I froze and I didn't talk to anyone about the situation (BIG mistake). I felt SOOO bad about it that I was literally unable to get back to my client to help them out. I felt dreadful about myself and beat myself up for a year about it. But being a procrastinator I did nothing about it. Then due to an unexpected link between where I am temping and this previous client, I was suddenly faced with the situation that my failure would be exposed. For the last 3 weeks I have known that this situation had to be resolved. For the last week contacting the old client has been on my daily list as a must do - and never got done, I couln't face it. I also couldn't work out how I should do it, in person, by phone, by email - and I let this indecision stop me taking any action. Naturally I left it till today when my current employer and this client are meeting to do something - ie left it to the very very last minute. I searched this site for inspiration under apology and found a thread about someone sending an apology by email. Having read it and the responses to it, it took me only 15 mins to pen a suitable apology and I hit send before I could change my mind. 10 mins later the phone rang and it was the client. He said hi and being a professional, I burst into tears. He then said he thought working with me was great and he wondered why I had not kept in touch etc etc. Long conversation later and we are having coffee in a week and all is forgiven. I can't believe that is the outcome. I want you all to know that your support and just being there was what got me over the line in the end. However I should acknowledge the cost of not taking this action earlier...
- A year of anxiety
- No payment for the time I worked with him (I couldn't bring myself to invoice him)
- The lost opportunity of working with people he might refer me on to (he's very well known where I live)
- Losing faith in myself and my ability to provide a service in my field - I sufferd from a huge loss of confidence
- The ability to talk to my current employer about working with this person and their organisation.