New & confused
Hello everyone. I'm a little confused - when I read through a topic posted on this forum, the replies aren't all in chronological order and I have a hard time following them. Can someone explain? If I want to respond, do I "add comment" on the initial post, or "reply" to one of the other responses?
Let me introduce myself a bit. I have the great fortune to live a lifestyle that many people would probably envy. Because my husband has a great job, I have the luxury of working part time. We have no kids, and apart from work, no other obligations. We have no financial debts. So most obstacles that other people face that make them feel overwhelmed or prevent them from pursuing other interests, are not obstacles in my life. I have the time, the lack of financial pressures, the physical health to do everything that could create such a rich, meaningful life for myself and my husband. I know what I want my life to look like.
But I don't do it. Procrastination affects most areas of my life, except work. I put off: exercising, cleaning, cooking, laundry, shopping, even pleasant things like reading or planning our next holiday, even minor things like brushing my teeth, washing my face, making the bed. Everything feels like a huge task and very futile, because after all, I'll just have to do it all over again tomorrow, or next week.
And because, as I mentioned previously, apart from work I have no obligations and therefore no deadlines, I suffer very few "external" consequences for my procrastination, just the anguish that I feel within myself for not living a full life. Somehow, knowing I'd feel better about myself if I did more, never translates into motivation to act. Occasionally a deadline will come up, like company coming over, or a holiday looming, and then I'm forced to act and I tell myself "just think how much less stressful this would be if I'd prepared sooner." But when that crunch is over, I immediately fall back into old routines.
Fortunately, I have a patient spouse, who only sometimes questions why it is that I haven't even been able to warm up a can of soup for our supper, when he's gotten up at 5 a.m. and worked a long day!
So, is it laziness or procrastination, and what's the difference, if there is one? Or is it depression? Some days, like today, I feel like I'm drowning in this...