Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Hello, again...

28 August, 2012 - 8:46am - Nelly

Hello,

This is my second introduction; I deleted the first as not being anonymous enough - I'm terrified someone at work will join the dots. But thank you so much to lavida for welcoming me the first time :) 

I am a chronic procrastinator, on depression medication and regular psychologist visits as a result. I have a good job somehow, where I just about manage to keep afloat, but sit here in a dark abyss most of the time, watching the clock for when I can escape back home to feel bad for not achieving anything.

I don't know what else to say, but I hold high hopes that this site will help me to make some serious improvements in my life!

I look forward to meeting you all.

Nelly x 

‹ Introduction from Mole Hello Everyone! ›

Thanks and sorry

Nelly - 1 Sep 2012 - 4:44am
As an extension of my introduction, I'd really like to thank all of you for just being here. 
 
I've just finished my first week at work after a three-week break for summer, when I was sobbingly disappointed just to be alive at the thought of having to go back to work. I'd figured out that it was the sitting there struggling to do work I couldn't see the point of, wishing I could run away, feeling very alone, and knowing that there was no escape.
 
But on Tuesday I read the article on the BBC and applied straight away (no procrastination there!) full of hope that PA could help, and it's great! I hope to get around ;-) to reading all the great resources on here, but the thing that helped immediately was the chatbox. It worked so well just having people there who were struggling like me, sometimes for different reasons, but often for reasons exactly like my own - but I was no longer alone! I had a great three days of working alongside you guys - I struggled, but I also persisted and got on with stuff and made a lot of progress.
 
However, I'd also like to say sorry to anyone in the chatbox that I disturbed by being over-excited or over-friendly. 
 
I'm a Brit working (in English) in Spain: I don't speak Spanish very well and so have no friends who aren't connected to the company. And I'm lonely. I do have a fantastic husband and two very cute pusscats; and I do have friends, but they're spread all over the world - I don't know what I'd do without Facebook! But I've found over and over that my colleagues can't also be my friends (for various strange reasons) so sometimes I feel very alone. 
 
I'm normally terrified of 'chatrooms', but I felt instantly at home here. But I didn't mean to disturb anyone trying to work and so apologise if I did. 
 
Sometimes a little distraction can be quite handy in getting some of my tasks done, so maybe at those times I should start my own chatroom for other lonely souls…
 
Thanks for reading and thanks for being here. You're all stars!
Nelly
x

Nelly - no worries, happy you are here!

pro - 1 Sep 2012 - 6:30am

Nelly - you have nothing at all to apologize for. Happy to have you in the chatbox, working together. The more the merrier!

I'm glad it's helping you. :)

hi Nelly!

movingalong - 30 Aug 2012 - 2:54am

Welcome to a place of HOPE!!!

Nelly

Vientir - 28 Aug 2012 - 11:29am

Your hopes in this site are well-placed. I may be speaking out of turn, but the dark abyss you mentioned is something to which many of us here can relate. Frittering the time away in anxiety and worry wondering why life isn't better, why we can't be like those high-energy people who take the initiative and who don't have to force themselves to do every little thing.

It's good that you have been getting treatment for depression, although I suspect that it's often a symptom of procrastination rather than a chemical imbalance that's out of your control. I don't take any mood-stabilisers or self-medicate; maybe that is a bit extreme but I have found that changing my expectations of whether something will fail have produced realistic feedback and a more stable mood. I try to be a realist and deal with the truth; my own depression is normally a defence mechanism against doing work, and I wallow in it to give me an excuse to stop trying. On some level it's comforting to be depressed and feel sorry for oneself. I hope that you are not in the same trap. 

- "A procrastinator's work is never done."

Chicken and Egg

Nelly - 30 Aug 2012 - 6:42am

Hi Vientir,

Thanks very much for the welcome. I spent yesterday afternoon in the 'chatroom' and felt very comfortable and got a lot done. Very excited about the possibilities!

I've been seriously considering your point; which comes first, the depression or the procrastination? I think that the procrastination has been with me a long time, and I've fought it, tooth and nail, and managed to get where I am. The depression has waxed and waned. I'm seeing my psychologist this evening and I'll ask her what she thinks.

I have to be said though, that I got an awful lot done yesterday afternoon, had a lovely relaxed evening and things look bright today, so on a very short-term basis, the cause and effect seems to be clear. I can only hope that the novelty doesn't wear off... I intend to attend the meeting on Sunday :)

Thanks again,

Nelly 

Chicken and Egg

Hypatia - 1 Sep 2012 - 8:10am

Hi Nelly, I'm glad you made it here and feel it's helpful.  It must be tough living in another country where it's difficult to talk to the locals.  I've found it hard enough to get to know people since moving from London to South Yorkshire!

I think the depression and procrastination are a vicious circle.  I've been a chronic procrastinator for many years, but in April following the death of my husband I developed severe depression and went from procratinating to basically giving up.  I'm sure the depression was made worse by knowing that my work was in a mess from my procrastination, the income tax man was chasing me with nasty threats, I've lost out on several thousand pounds of removal expenses through not completing the forms on time etc etc.

With a lot of support from my managers at work I'm getting caught up, and now at work I don't get depressed.  I actulaly felt happy yesterday for the first time in 8 months.  But today is Saturday so I'm at home and my procrastination and depression are feeding off one another.

H.

Hard to say

Vientir - 30 Aug 2012 - 10:17pm

That's great to hear. I brought up the possibility because I have experiences the same thing, and knew that not wasting my day was a simple way to improve my disposition. It's basic and yet so hard to maintain (at least for most of us). That desperate need to move beyond the avoidance, demand resistance, or any of the other symptoms is probably something all of us here deal with regularly.  

- "A procrastinator's work is never done."