Introduction - I'm marcreed and I'm a compulsive procrastinator
I'm marcreed and I've been procrastinating I think since the age of 7-8.
My parents were always demanding and later in my life I've found that it was impossible to live up to their expectations, so I gave up and started to defy them.
This defiance eventually somehow bloomed into its' current state of compulsive resistance towards things I should be doing but they involve some sort of discomfort.
I mostly have a problem with studying, however my basic intelligence got me through highchool but failed me at collage. I've dropped out.
I studied tourism and catering while I always wanted to study psychology. So I actaully rationalised my poor performance was the result of my disinterest, which is true to a degree, but now I am actually preparing to the admissions test to multiple universities where I applied to psychology. And I think I'm about to fail again.
I've found that i really can't get myself to study or even if I can (on my best days) I usually quit very soon. I'm about halfway prepared for this next exam and I'd need to be 80% prepared at least and the test is due within 2 days.
Anyways, I always have big plans and I also know what should be done, but I almost always fail to actually do what is necessary.
I'm actually feeling quite frustrated and hopeless about this whole procrastination thing.
When people give me advice about procrastination I always feel like as if I couldn't swim and the were telling something like just jump into the water.
I could get some results with the 12 steps a few weeks before. A friend of mine and me started to apply them to our procrastination and we experienced a major shift, however at step 8 both of us backed out and thus relapsed.
I really hope I could get this handled soon, even if I fail this next exam I still have to get this handled, I cannot live like this any longer.