Just wanted to introduce myself

Hi everyone,

I've joined the PA this week and couldn't be more excited. :-) 

I have difficulty with achieving long-term goals - like an admissions test that has been postponed for about 2 years now.. It's easy to start but then I always find excuses to change the study plan and focus on the mundane day-to-day responsibilities.

I started avoiding large tasks when I studied for math in elementary school!! It got much worse after the move to another country, where being busy 24/7 is considered a sign of success. I did seem to look successful, was even named the Outstanding student at my school. I managed to stay busy after the birth of my kid, going to college, volunteering, working on research project. BUT - the one thing I want for myself - getting an advanced degree - I can't accomplish as of today.

I tend to lose focus instantaneously, and have to write down even the simplest of tasks. If I don't write them down, they don't get done. Even though the majority of the day is spent in front of the computer screen, typing up the to-do list does not work, it has to be done by hand. When most of the items on the to-do list aren't done, I come up with excuses like "I'll wake up early tomorrow and get it over with - how hard can it be?", or "why does everybody want something from me, can't they do it themselves?". I am the queen of excuses.

Keeping myself busy seems to help out a bit - the more tasks I have planned, the more gets accomplished in a day. But, my house is a mess (and I used to be so neat and tidy!), my head feels like it's going to explode from all the pressure, and my inability to keep myself in check WILL affect my family if I continue on like this.

I need to: be honest with myself, divide big tasks into manageable ones, sleep more than 5.5 hours a day and understand that perfectionism doesn't get things done. 

Sincerely,

tila