New here as well, and here's my introductory post!

Hi all,

For quite obvious reasons (and even more so for me personally) I'm afraid that I can't really introduce myself by my name, so instead I will introduce myself as Snebbu! I shall warn you in advance though, it's quite a long story so my apologies for that! I tried to keep it relatively short.

So let me first tell a bit about myself, and also why I came to join this website. I am 20 years old, and currently live in the Netherlands. I have an unhealthy addiction to quality-made clothes (that is, bespoke), and to all things technological (Apple by preference). I'd like to think that I appear to be a rather normal guy, and for some reason people see me as somebody who will end up being quite successful at life. As I am now however, I know that this will never actually happen without me changing the way I am now. I have been procrastinating ever since I went to high school. I have read on multiple articles that a reason for this might be extremely strict parents, though for me that's probably the complete opposite, I was always allowed to do pretty much whatever I wanted. However, because the first few years of high school were quite easy, I was able to pass all of the first few years without any trouble and more importantly, without ever actually having learned for anything. Gradually however, the material that I got to deal with became more difficult, but having never ever really done anything for school apart from actually being present in classes, I was never really able to set myself to do my homework. I procrastinated everything, even the most important exams, and eventually it resulted in me having to redo the 4th year of high school. I guess most people would learn from that, but I did not. My 5th year I also almost failed again, and my 6th and final year I never even opened my books for the final and most important exams of high school, though I did pass. Until this moment, even though I procrastinated pretty much everything that came in my path, everything still went fairly okay. It wasn't until after high school, about 8 months ago, that things started to really get out of hand. Due to my procrastination I eventually had to drop out of college, and due to procrastination I never even bothered to pay my college bills which resulted in a huge debt stemming from both the money that I owe my university, and the student-money that I unrightfully received from my government (but which I did all spend).

Though the unfortunate situation regarding my finances is probably even the least of my worries, for right now I am finding myself in the worst position that I have ever been in. A vacation love with a Chinese girl from when I went on holiday to China. All was great, and it was my first real love. And though I won't delve into the details for it is a personal matter too, as with most vacation and long-distance relationships, it didn't work out for me and due to the distance started to lose my interest in her as well. Of course, knowing me, I procrastinated the breaking up and in doing so, only made it much worse. It wasn't until much later, that I eventually built up the courage to break up, but by this time she had already started to love me so much that she couldn't accept it. She threatened with suicide, and being the quite weak person that I am, I relented and stayed with her for another miserable 2 months faking every single emotion that I felt just so she wouldn't do what she threatened to do. 2 months had passed, and I decided to talk to my parents and friends about it, and with their support managed to yet again build up the courage to end it for good. She didn't commit suicide, but instead doing something that affected me possibly even worse. I am now in a situation where she threatens me with every single way possible, and have already gone through the agony of her sending extremely personal pictures of mine to all my friends on Facebook, and still she's threatening to put those pictures out on the web for everybody to see the moment they google my name (and there's only one person in the world with my name). As of now I am still 'together' with her, extremely afraid of what she'll do if I break up, and probably my procrastinative behaviour comes into play too, because even though I know that it'll probably be the best to end it and suffer the consequences, there's this little voice in my head that prevents me from doing so, and thus I procrastinate.

This is just a little introduction as to who I am, and how my life has looked for the past years. Procrastination has literally ruined me, I lost many friends, I am in huge debt even though I only recently left high school, and I have lost my dignity through it too.

It is also for this reason that I finally decided to want to do something about that all, which is when I came here, and found a place with many like-minded people all going through the same problems that I have to deal with, and I am looking forward very much to joining these boards.

-Snebbu