Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
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Hi,
First, I am beyond thankful to have found a support group like this. I look forward to growing and improving with you all. I am a single mom of 2 baby boys and am an entrepreneur.
I have decided to seek help because I don't manage my time well. I stay up way too
late and always wake up late. Even if I'm awake on time, somehow I manage to
waste time. I'm even late to my own business (self employed) regularly,
and I regularly get my son to daycare late. My hardest time is mornings. When
my clock goes off, I feel like I just don't care about anything. Many
times I will consciously look at the time & just kiss and cuddle my 2
little boys for over 10 minutes when I was supposed to be literally
driving off instead. Mind you, I'm not even half ready when I do
this...dogs to be walked, nothing is clean, no breakfast yet, none of us
are dressed...
I need help. I'm sick of getting
angry at myself & giving people reason to judge me. No one respects
tardiness...especially repetitive tardiness. I know this and keep
showing up late anyway.
I did some thinking about
the times I have been on time. I was ALWAYS EARLY for class when I was
in college (I'm extremely motivated by learning), and I'm always early
for seminars. If there were strick consequences for a previous job or
meeting, then I was right on time after enduring a panicky rush.
over the last 15 yrs, I've had only 2 jobs that I showed up early for:
1. When I was a fast food supervisor at the age of 17 which of course made me feel extremely important at that age
2.
When I was a paralegal assistant...again the notion of importance
because if I did not gather enough information for a client's file, that
client would not win their disability case in court. For me, to help a
poor person receive almost $100,000 in unpaid benefits from years of
being declined gave me a strong sense of pride. This was a job that I
came early for and left late with no extra pay and all for minimum wage.
I even took files home and worked for free. Eventually I quit for not
being able to afford my bills.
So what does this say
about me, that I must face dire consequences, be in a classroom
setting, and be extremely needed in order to be on time? I want to be on
time because it is the right thing to do for so many other reasons.
I
have had many many jobs, and now I'm self employed. At the age of 30
now, I really need to make some changes, I'm am extremely talented,
intelligent and caring individual who happens to hate getting out of bed &
who, for years, has said "tomorrow I'll be on time"
Felicia
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emergency tasks
welcome. indeed this is a great place to work on that issue!
people will often say of me (us?) "if you really wanted to, you could." I often wonder that of myself. As an exmample, if there was a fire, i would not procrastinate getting myself and my family out of the house.
As i reflect on this, it seems to me that for much of human extistance (going back millenia) most people have lived in fear of their lives. Survival has driven most of human behavior.
We today in most of the world, especially the west, are blessed with luxury. If we do half as well at our jobs, and our chores, as we could, we will still eat and feed our families. We will still survive. We have the luxury of doing things not because they're required for survival, but because our values say they should be done.
I have been thinking about this very topic a lot recently. It seems clear to me that my goal for my recovery is not to make things seem dire, but rather to find the power / strength / discipline to do things that are not required, that there is no huge consequence to pay, just things i know are beneficial, helpful, useful.
My approach to this is spiritual. To use whatever motivation i have learn about and connect with God, and to hope his motivation to love and do the wise thing, will become my motivation.
fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb
thanks, clement
Thanks for these very well-put thoughts re motivation for survival vs. living our values. They seem very applicable to my own situation.
I think I might add a personal P.S. to the Serenity Prayer, like "May I have the courage and hope and integrity to choose my actions based on my values, rather than my fears."
Much appreciated!
wrkinprogrss
i like that
fall down seven times, get up eight - japanese proverb
Welcome Iwanttowakeup!
Good to have you here.
Reading what you wrote reminds me how when my own 'babies' were little (they are now adults) I would stay up late to have 'time to myself'. I still have problems with getting myself to bed, although I have been 'blessed' with a husband who likes to go to bed early and hates it when I stay up late. But I (mostly) recognize, as you have, that getting to bed earlier is the key to being able to get up on time without feeling exhausted from lack of sleep.
Thank you :-)
Yes, you're very right lately I have been going to bed earlier----with leaving a lot undone, but it has been easier to get up, now if I jus figure out how to not lose myself in time when getting ready.
Peace and Love
Congratulations on your progress!
All the best with your next step forward.