Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
So confused about how to use the site... :(
Hi everyone,
Who knows if this will be seen by anyone... I'm not sure where people actually go to talk to one another. So, I figured I'd just start a forum topic and see if anyone answers.
I'm working on a paper for school, which is the final paper required to wrap up the last of my incomplete courses. I had to take this past semester off because my procrastination was so out of control that I couldn't finish my classes the previous semester, and it's taken me 6 months to finally wrap up 2 of them, and the last one still has this last paper outstanding.
It's supposed to be in... well, last night, and before that on friday, and before that 2 weeks ago. I've gotten one extension after another, and this time I said that if I didn't have it finished by sunday night I'd just hand in whatever I had. Of course, on sunday night I had nothing.
I've been up all night and have finally gotten SOMETHING started, but I am so desperate for moral support. I'm lonely and overwhelmed and I just feel like every fiber of my being says NO, I can't write it. I just can't do it.
I want to finish. But something in me is refusing to move forward on this. I can't understand what the resistance is about.
Maybe it's not important to understand. Maybe I need to suck it up and all that, but I don't know HOW to suck it up. If I knew how, I would. I don't know why I'm doing this to myself.
If anyone reads this, can you please say a prayer for me. I feel like I'm throwing away my chance at getting back into school, and at 36 I can't afford to throw my life away AGAIN. Starting over, and over, and over and over... it's just not going to work very much longer. I can't keep showing up with no explanation for why my life is a mess and I'm starting from scratch. I need to finish this time. Please pray. I'm serious. I know it seems like it's not a big deal, but I need some kind of help.
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Peachy Pietzsche..,
Bravo to you for showing up!!! And admitting you have a problem! Honey, it took me 14 years to graduate from college, so I REALLY get what you are talking about. But I did it, and you will too!!
All I can say is you are a new creation starting today. You've put a new foot forward. Keep coming back; it works!
What I do when I get in a place like you are (newer behavior for me too, mind you) is I set my timer for 15 minutes and I go at one part of it. Then I take a break(maybe another 15?) and then go back to the project, maybe the same part, or maybe a different part. (I try to USE my mild ADD in my favor.) It just helps to get one tiny corner done. And sometimes starting at the back corner works better. (If it's a paper, yeah sure you're supposed to start at the outline, but I'll start by rush-writing the conclusion if that's going to come out easier for me.)
Just do what you can today. Only focus on today. The AA Big Booksays "we can do things for 12 hours that would appall us if we thought we had to keep them up indefinitely." No day but today.
Also, I did pray too. You are welcomed here, and you are loved, just the way you are.
Action PRECEDES "figuring it all out!"
Julie
pssst....using swim lessons' analogy
hey, you, that's right, you...come on, no worries.....don't be scared .........just take my hand.....come on up....that's it.....push just a little bit more....I got you....now use your legs....and just a bit of your arms.....come on....yeah, YEAH, yeah!!! YOU'RE doing it....just a bit at a time.....keep following....come one along.,...LET US KNOW...I have been where you are [and worse]......I will not say it is easy....but I know you can...and KUDOS for admitting and trying........
[orig post 21 Jun]
Thanks for reaching out
Hi Pietzsche -
I live in your area and experience many of the same things you've described.
I, too, am completing incompletes for my degree--one of which has taken me 1.5 years thus far, and is STILL not done. And I, too, have come up against the wall of resistance with this, and also have not been understanding why I can't finish, or where my resistance came from, as well.
A few things that are especially helpful for me are the morning meeting calls and check-ins throughout the day. The number is 218.339.3600, there are daily 15 minute meetings at 7:30am, 8:30am, and 11am Monday through Friday. And then people call back and check-in throughout the day for support and accountability.
If you're interested in doing this at all, today's check-in times at 11:30am, 1:30pm, 3;30pm, 5:30pm, and 9:30pm. There may be others that get set up today, as well.
There is also a face-to-face PA meeting in your area, and it meets tonight. This could be another way for you to connect with people and get support. The information about it is here:
http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/meetings
And then, of course, kromer's suggestions are great too. I also use the tools and the chatbox on a daily basis, as well.
Wishing you well today, as you work towards completing your goal. I'll be thinking of you and asking HP to relieve you of your resistance, fear and overwhelm today, and replace it with ease and productivity.
Big hug -
MC
hi pietzsche
I've said a prayer for you and will keep praying for you.
I think that all of us understand that it IS a big deal to be stuck on a project...it takes a lot of courage and a lot of help to get past resistance. The posts on "microbursts" and on "tools for recovery" (linked from the front page) might give you some tools to start to get past your resistance, and you can go to the chatbox (links on the left and top of the page) if you want to talk through your tasks with someone else.
((pietzsche)) You are not alone
I've been where you are before and I've felt the frustration and helplessness of wondering why I was doing that to myself, all the while staring at a blank page.
Know that you are not alone and that we'll be thinking and praying for you.
I'm not sure if this will work for you, but I found that if I let go of all the anxieties of not meeting the deadline and the constant beating myself up for doing this to myself again, and just focusing on writing each sentence bit by bit without thought to how long the process is taking, I started to move forward. It's not the answer to everything and consequences will still fall, but at least I started to move out of the self imposed hell that I was stuck in for so long.
You can do it pietzsche! Don't beat yourself up! We believe in you!
> Allegro