Back in search of help
I've joined PA quite some time ago. For a number of reasons that would take too long to explain, I haven’t visited the forum in over a year.
In the meantime, I believe I’ve done some progress as far as procrastination is concerned. I managed to break the cycle of depressions I was going through, I haven’t taken anti-depressants in over a year and I’ve done some progress in college (I work and study). I also managed to stop smoking during the process. This was the bright side.
The not so bright side is that the recession is really hitting me hard (I’m a freelancer) and my everlasting studies in college are coming to a compulsory end. Because I’ve spent so much time in college, I’ll be thrown out by the end of this year (2010), having finished my studies or not. With little work, anyone in his right mind would take advantage of the free time to finish college and find a new job. Also, I find my work boring and depressing. In short: it sucks. I’ve been willing to change jobs for quite some time now, but I always say to myself I should finish my studies first.
As a procrastinator I have taken little advantage of this extra free time I’m having now. I did manage to pass some subjects last semester and I can still pass some of my upcoming exams. I don’t have many subjects left, but being a procrastinator, I left the hardest, most boring subjects for last. I have a test in 12 days time. I managed to pass the first test with an A, which is something new to me, but now I’m AWAY behind schedule for my second test. Furthermore, this is such a boring and extensive subject that I feel that if I miss this opportunity to pass, I won’t have the courage to try again. I’m also wondering if I’ll have the motivation and willpower to pass 2 of the most difficult subjects of the whole course, which I left for last. I look around me and see things getting gloomy at college.
At work, things are pitch black. Even if I don’t get thrown out of college, I’ve given myself a deadline (July this year) to find a new job. I can’t prolong this situation any more. If want to change jobs, I’ll have to do it this year, recession or no recession. It’s not like I’m getting any younger and furthermore, my wife will not tolerate this situation much longer. Either I graduate or I find a new job.
I used to have a friend with who I talked about this stuff. Since he too was a procrastinator (and aware of it), I felt like I had someone who understood me. Unfortunately he moved abroad this year and it’s hard to talk to him now. I feel like I’m going downhill. I’m rejoining this group in search of much needed help and support.
I thank all you who took the time to read this post.