Thursday August 27, 2009
Gratitude
- By vic at 27 Aug 2009 - 7:28am
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Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried.
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Recycler CI 10pm EST
Hi Pro Buddies!
I'm getting in late tonight. I don't know why I didn't post my CI before I went out; but that's ok.
At the gym, I did my stretching and ab exercises.
This morning at work, I formatted & re-edited some rough draft communications for my boss. During my lunchtime, I went out and got a sandwich. In the afternoon, I worked on some projects from my list. At the end of the day, I updated & highlighted my list for tomorrow.
After work I came home. I must have just goofed off until I went to my volunteer activity tonight. Although I left before it was over because I was so tired, I had a good time.
Arriving back at home, I realized I hadn't done my meditation for today, which I had Promised to do for my class, so I did it. I'm finishing my CI, so now it's time to sleep!
Have a great night, everyone!
Recycler
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here!
crayon CI - 6:30 pm
So, I didn't check in earlier because today has been a day of a lot of interruptions and I feel sick :( However, I'm reaching down deep for the strength to overcome my urges to escape today, despite not feeling well.
Here is my to do list:
morning routine/vitaminsClass in AM
help d.homework for tomorrow's classPA checkinjournaldrink plenty of wateremailsfinish heart-to-heart with daddinner/dinner for dNote: this is after multiple revisions...rereading initially supposed to be done by 5.
I'm definitely feeling dejected/powerless/hopeless right now. I don't know why I'm letting this stupid report destroy my life.
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Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.
~William James
julesk checking in
Happy Thursday to all.
Today I am going to
Communicate w/my DA sponsor
Check my bank accounts on line.
Finish hemming a skirt - did 15
vaccuum the livingroom
Do 15 mins on cleaning out a box in the livingroom
15 mins in the garden
Take some cat food over to my sister'
Work 30 mins on a new pillow project- did 15
30 mins on sewing pajamas fo rmy biz - did 15
15 mins cleaning my bedroom
15 mins cleaning my spare room
Then I will get ready to go to work for a short shift at 5:30. This sounds like a lot...but there should be ample time for that and some nice breaks. I will simply do my best and do a check in later in the day. I am letting go of the result and of all the overthinking.
Less stewing, more doing.
Julie
Journey 11:15 & update
Good morning! I'm SO sleepy today, I stayed up late reading a good book! I really need to go to bed earlier . . .
Anyway, good day so far, I've been to the gym, attended a meeting, and done a bunch of administrative stuff. Now it's time to get started on project work, this is always the point where I find it hard to get started on the hard stuff, so I am checking in to say that I will work on Project P for the next hour.
Jo
UPDATE 2 pm. I did indeed work on Project P, attended yet another meeting, and now I'm going to work on Project L for an hour.
Update 3:45. Geez ONLY 3:45
. I did work on Project L for more than an hour, and did more administrative type stuff. Now I'm going to work on Project O for an hour.
"True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country." - Kurt Vonnegut
Fall down 7 times get up the 8th? (10:30AM)
I'm embarrassed to report that I called in a vacation day today. My girl wasn't feeling too good this a.m., wanted a longer walk, which turned into my being late and then my calling in. It will be that much harder to go back tomorrow with my co-workers hating me.
Things I pray for the willingness to do today:
-meetings
-finish resentment part of 4th step today!!!
-food & pharmacy shopping
-cook
-do back exercises
Speaking of which, I had p.t. on Tuesday and she worked me too hard and too long and I was in pain yesterday the whole day. She told me a whole new way to hold in my abs by pushing out and I fear I will not get this concept after years & years of pulling in and what was called "supporting your lower back." Confusing.
Also working on getting rid of another core addiction.
♥"Kindness and truth have met, righteousness and peace have kissed." Psalm 85♥
go hope4
Another one i like is:
this is my life.
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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
check-in (12:50PM)
Just need to turn over what the voices in my head scream at me when I'm doing my 4th step:
-you're not thorough enough
-you're skipping things
-you'll never be done
-you're not doing it right
-you'll never be free of them
Positive things I've done so far:
-cleaned out my work bag
-called credit card company and transferred some $ from a high fee card to a 0% card
-called husband to remind him to sign paperwork to transfer very old 401k to IRA connected to new 401K.
-ordered inhaler apparatus for Yoffee
-emailed Dr. to order inhaler for her
Things that must be done:
-fax in Yoffee's prescriptions to insurance company for reimbursement (afraid they won't reimburse, so I don't fax them in)
Thanks.
♥"Kindness and truth have met, righteousness and peace have kissed." Psalm 85♥
GeorgeSmiley 9:21AM + Updates
1. Project U
2. Project E
3. Project C-M
4. Project P-11
5. Project W-W.
6. Decluttering
All things I need to work on today. I have a shorter day than usual because it's my weekday w/ my son. and I have a list of specific things in Outlook so if I just follow the list I should be able to make progress
Update, 12:04 PM
Some progress on Projects U and E.
Some goofing off but then got back to work.
Picking up my son to spend time w/ him. Not sure if I'll be able to do more work today or not.
~~
Want what you have. Be who you are. Do what you can. ~Forrest Church
The Hero's Code:
Show Up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.
kromer 10:10 CI
I have a mtg at 3 today that I need to be prepared for, so most of the day will be prepping for that. I need to:
1)
Make ppt presentation corresponding to proposal, print that + proposal (working on this now, should be done with this by approx. 2:15)2)
Add Dmc1 mutant to lit. summary, print lit summary, copy corresponding articles for TE3)
Finish rough meiotic blocks proposal, add to ppt4)
Make ppt on embyronic expt5)
Make ppt on targeted tests
After the mtg, I'll take notes, make a schedule for tomorrow/next week, and work on assembling training compendium. Heading to chatbox now
kromer 5 CI
OK, had mtg and took notes...think it went OK (though talking to hotshot visiting scientist makes me feel pretty stupid...)
Some next steps are:
1)Make a schedule
2)Read 2 papers on Dmc1, look up ordering reagents
3)Work on assembling training compendium
4)Microburst work on GD's project
OK, right now I'm going to take a dinner break (not sure why, but I'm starving), then I'll come back, make schedule and read Dmc1 papers.
CL daily overcoming
earlier than usual, and that makes me anxious. God give me strength and focus.
checked email -- there was none
9:20 read this site
i am weak today. i do not feel like i possess the strength to do the next right thing. I want to work out, it's healthy for me, but i just am filled with dread when i consider just doing it.
and now, to be perfectly honest, this is where i turn to god, but given that there are some non-theists on the site, i feel myself trying to phrase my own interaction with god in a way that will be accessible to them, but that's a distortion from what i actually think. So i'm trying not to do this, but in all these gyrations, i've lost track of my true feelings.
ironically, my dread is one of the things i've lost track of, so i guess i can just go work out now.
well, look at that, just as i move beyond this, and it becomes time to actually do it, the dread returns.
9:50 ok i prayed elsewhere and now i feel god's presence and power with me and i can do it.
9:50 wko
10:50 qt
11:20 work
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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
surrender
This is such a diverse and supportive group, i absolutely love it.
Since ppl are being so open, i have thot much about my faith and the 12 steps and my irresistable urge to procrastinate.
What drew me here at first, and speaks powerfully to me every day is step 1 and 2.
step 1 - i am powerless. That is very scary thing i have experienced, and i see that despair in many ppl who come to this site.
step 2 - i need external help. I have noticed that when you look at how ppl rephrase step 2, and replace higher power, what they most often replace it with is something external. That the help comes from the outside is the daily reality that i live, and it is responsible for the progress i've made here. I can totally see how "the group conscious or wisdom" could be that external force for some people.
But the fact that it has to be external really follows directly on step 1, i am powerless.
i had already given my life to god before i came here, but step 3 in light of the addiction problem gave new meaning to that part of my life.
Now, when every bone in my body says i should NOT do the next right thing on my list...step 1, step 2, step 3, i surrender my will to god. I trust that god's wisdom is greater than mine. It seems so dangerous to ignore all those screaming voices to avoid/escape. I trust that god knows best, and i plunge forward into the snake pit, or so it seems. I wish i was being overly dramatic, but this is really what it's like for me. In my case, i need to believe in god, to trust that he will take care of me, when i go against my nature. Because when i do, i feel lost. And so i'm giving in to god's will. It's very much like that trust game, where you fall backwards and depend on others catching you.
and because of all that, i dont think i could manufacture belief in god for the purposes of the 12 steps. i dont think for me that would ever be strong enuf to counteract the overwhelming urge to procrastinate.
so that's how god works into the 12 steps for me.
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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
Theism
I have gotten inspiration from some of your posts.
Personally, I like the references to theism. I would prefer there is no mention of any particular religion.
Progress not Prefection
CL daily overcoming, 2pm
9:50 wko - DONE
10:50 qt - listening to songs instead, trying to listen to the spirit thru them while i work
11:20 work - urgent need - DONE
2pm back to nbf
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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
God talk
clement, speaking only for myself, I for one would encourage you to speak in whatever God talk works for you here, rather than holding yourself back in a way that distorts what you think. Speaking for myself, so long as you don't tell ME (or others) how to think about God but merely speak for and from your own experience, I will not find that objectionable. Similarly, I hope that non-theists won't hold back in speaking in whatever terms reflect their understanding of reality, again so long as no one is dissing someone else's viewpoint.
~~
Want what you have. Be who you are. Do what you can. ~Forrest Church
The Hero's Code:
Show Up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.
re: god talk
i really appreciate this. It is comforting to be asked to speak freely. yes.
and thats what i usually try to do. But it actually takes discipline. Because sometimes, as i'm writing, the thot will go thru my head, what would an atheist think of this? Would they think it weak? Then i have to show in my writing how it may appear weak and actually be strong. Will they think it foolish? Then i should show how it is wise. And before long, i'm having an imaginary debate with imaginary atheists, instead of actually trying to get the next right task done.
it's very hard for me to resist this. The cost is i lose track of my true state of mind, which is something i have to change to make forward progress, the whole point of writing in the first place.
i think this is somehow related to the procrastination, because it feels like an addictive urge, like obsessive thinking or something. Obsessive debating. Or the need to be 'right'.
But this is such a non-judgmental and accepting place, and that seems to be so key to the recovery we all experience here. I value that so much, i dont want to do anything to damage it.
There is such wisdom in the AA meeting text:
and now...i better stop obsessively thinking / writing about this topic and get onto my next right thing.
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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
More on God talk
I couldn't agree more with everything that's been said here. I think it is incredibly
important that people feel comfortable sharing completely and openly
about their thoughts. Indeed, I don't think a community of support can
function unless everyone feels comfortable sharing that which they need
to share.
I, for one, fully support and respect people of faith, though a
non-theist myself. In fact, one of the reasons why I prefer the term
non-theist to atheist is that it has less implication of being
"against" religion or the concept of God. I also think that there is a
lot more in common between people of faith and non-theists than many
may initially assume. Many people regardless of religion, for
instance, have a strong moral code (whether from something like secular
humanist ideology or from a religious background), and seek deeper
connection with their world/community and sense of "greater purpose".
Thus, discussing your relationship with God (however you choose to
share it) in struggling against procrastination may well guide all of
us
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Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.
~William James
re: God talk
I can't really add anything, so I'll just say ditto GS and Cray. We should all feel free to share whatever we feel and whatever works for us.
Jo
"True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country." - Kurt Vonnegut
ditto, ditto, ditto
Beautifully said by all!!
♥"Kindness and truth have met, righteousness and peace have kissed." Psalm 85♥
e's check in for Thursday
Good morning! Thanks Vic for setting up today's check in.
I am feeling optomistic today, but have some things that are urgent to get done today. Many of them are financial, which feels scary to me as money is tight, so I think I will spend some time in the chatbox. I can also feel myself wanting to be busy on other things to avoid those scary tasks, so I think I will try a walking meditation to take back books to the library and get my body and mind moving in the right direction. The foster dog is away and I am not getting any exercise at all: a very slippery slope for me!
Heading for the chatbox to begin the day.
asking for help to do the next right thing
Vic 8/27
showing up (done) Make gratitude list -oh no, just saw friends of bill AA on top of my picture, then I thought no- this is the first thing I have to be gratful for, By the grace of God I have not had a drink in almost 25 years. Where/who would I be if I was still drinking? all my glasses would be empty. I decided to change my check in pic- in the past, it may have triggered me.
friends of bill w.
It will be 9 months for me on September 2nd....
asking for help to do the next right thing
way2go e
that's such a great accomplishment!
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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
congrats to e!!!
Congratulations on your accomplishment!!
rec
Congratulations
And I don't even have to explain why it took me so long to respond! someone else understands!!another miracle.!!
congrats on the chips you hold
Hi e, vic & everyone!
Congratulations on the chips you hold!
Recycler
Recycler
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here!
Congrats!
That's fantastic! What a momentous accomplishment!
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Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.
~William James
yea vic!
that is such good and encouraging news!
what a great victory!
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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
Congrats to vic!!!
Congrats on 25 years sobriety!
rec
Wow Vic, 25 years!!! Amazing!! Congratulations!!
♥"Kindness and truth have met, righteousness and peace have kissed." Psalm 85♥
re:25 years
Congratulations! You must have been about 5 years old then right?
"True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country." - Kurt Vonnegut
I wish
Sometimes I feel 5 years old now!
Thanks for caring. Still one day at a time, I do not take it for granted. I hope we can all celebrate our years in PA.