Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.

Secular 12-steps and co-sponsor/buddy

Hi. I'm new both to PA and to 12-step programs generally and, though I really feel like the community here is a fabulous find for me, I'm realizing that there are two things that are missing for me.  Perhaps I'm not the only one.

First, I know that AA and the other programs use mentors.  Though I've never done a 12-step program, I've certainly found that having regular check-ins with someone is ENORMOUSLY helpful in other contexts.  While I realize a lot of us here are still struggling, I would love to find a 12-step buddy (if not a mentor) with whom I could check in regularly (and vice versa) about progress...however, ideally, I'd like to pair up with someone who, like myself, is trying to adapt the 12-step program to be more secular.

Which brings me to my second point.  While I know a lot of people find the higher power aspect of 12-step programs essential to their progress, one of the controversial points of 12-step programs has long been the explicit use of religion.  A number of atheists/agnostics have successfully used these programs by reinterpretting the terms "higher power", "God", etc., but it isn't a perfect translation into the secular world.  For instance, steps 3 and 7 (turning your life over to God and asking Him to remove your defects) are tricky where you see the human will as the ultimate determinant of action rather than an outside force.   Ultimately I want to do the 12-step program as best as I can, but I do not want to do it in a way that feels inauthentic (emphasizing God's role in fixing my life), so I'd love to explore ways to reinterpret the program with likeminded others.  Please note, however, that I fully support those who find God to be a critical part of their recovery...it just doesn't feel right for me as a non-theist/humanist. 

To get started on possible ways to reinterpret, I found this secular/non-theist interpretation of the AA 12 steps, which I then revised.


1. We admitted our lives had become unmanageable and that procrastination/compulive avoidance has taken over.

2. Came to believe that the application of evidence and reason, as well as the support of our friends, family and community, a power much greater than ourselves, could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to thinking based on evidence and rational reasoning and to the wider support of our community.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to reality, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have the cold light of logic, evidence and reason remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly sought, through logic and reason, to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory by the application of reason, evidence and rational secular morality, and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through meditation, rational thought, and scientific evidence to improve our conscious understand of ourselves, to deepen our relationship with our community of support, and to foster the our individual growth and power to be the people whom we strive to be

12. Having had an awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to procrastinators, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Great insight Crayon0

Hello Crayon

I share your viewpoint and love your adaptation. One thought is that, for me, there's a place for "intuition" and "personal responsibility" in steps 6, 7, 10 and 11. Now going to print your steps and put them in the back of my day-book where I will see them every day.

Best wishes for your success.

Thanks again Crayon0

Crayon0, with apologies if I've compromised your good work in any way, here is my adaptation.

12-steps to contentment and success (expressed in personal, present tense and positive terms):

1. Admit that our life has become unmanageable and that procrastination/compulive avoidance has taken over.

2. Believe that the application of evidence and reason and intuition, as well as the support of our friends, family and community (i.e. a power much greater than ourselves), can restore our sanity.

3. Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to thinking based on evidence and rational reasoning combined with intuition, and to the wider support of our community.

4. Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admit to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Be entirely ready to have the cold light of logic, evidence and reason, in combination with the warmth of intuition,  replace these defects of character with positive and productive ones.

7. Humbly seek, through logic and reason and intuition, to replace our shortcomings with strengths.

8. Make a list of all persons we have harmed, and become willing to make amends to them all.

9. Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continue to take personal responsiblity by the application of reason and evidence, secular morality and intuition and, when we are wrong, to promptly admit and rectify it.

11. Seek through meditation and intuition, rational thought and and scientific evidence, to improve our conscious understanding of ourselves, deepen our relationship with our community of support, and foster the our individual growth and
power to be the people whom we strive to be.

12. Become awake to and aware of the power and result of these steps, carrying this message to fellow procrastinators and applying these principles in all our affairs.

moved post

i moved this post here: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/4362#comment-32746

because it was about my theism, and seemed more appropriate there, rather than in this explicitly titled 'secular' post.

sry

----------
the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748

"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb

I pulled out the whole "God" discussion

I pulled out the whole "God talk" discussion from the daily check-in thread and made it a separate thread in the 12-step area:

http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/4362

clement, I'll edit your post to correct the link.

I also moved chickadee's poem about the violin that you link to in your signature out of the daily check-in and into the "miscellaneous" area. Your link now points to a stub linking to the new location, which is here:

http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/4363

Those are cool :)

Hi crayon0!

Those are cool! Thanks for sharing! :)

Recycler


Recycler

Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)

If it works for you go for it

Do whatever works.

I don't know if it works...

Thanks for the comment...I don't know if it will work for me, that's kind of why I wanted to throw it out there and see if there was anyone else who has tried/is trying to reinterpret the 12 steps to be a bit more secular.  I was hoping that this was an open enough community to discuss this.  Is it?  Am I the only one who for whom the religion part of the program doesn't resonate?

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Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. 

~William James

(crayonO)

I support you in your vision. PA is not an "official" 12 step program, the  steps are used as one of the tools, at this time the group does not follow the traditions of a 12 step program, but thanks to pro and this site, we are not locked into working 12 steps as in other programs and are open to more resourses.

Glad someone said it!

Hi Crayon,

I am also a secularist, and I'm totally with you on this, I think there should be a less
denominational version of the 12 steps. I'm not sure why they don't just
say "a higher power" instead of "God" all the way through the 12 steps, but I suppose
"God" gives you the idea of strength & faith being fed in from all around you by
this invisible, strong, benevolent force, and maybe that's what the HP thing is about..?

There was one thing in your steps that I suspect would make them less effective for me than the PA originals though. The bit about
"surrendering to thinking based on evidence and rational reasoning". This doesn't come from my own experience of the 12 steps as I'm new here too, but... a 12-stepper was gently advising me to stop going round the site giving advice ("you should do this, you should do that, you should, you should, you should!") as it can disrupt the 12-step process for people (I should not try to foist my, often uninformed, opinion on others [crosstalk] and instead state what my personal experience has meant for me, a la the PA meeting format... I'm working on it, but it's hard! ;-) ). She explained steps 1 and 2 in the context of crosstalk (the 12 steps are about accepting the fact that you're incapable of using your rational mind and sorting this problem out for yourself, and instead appealing to an external source of strength to help you). Evidence and rational reasoning was something that she specifically pointed out hadn't worked for her, despite her being a very rational, logical deep thinker, and things only 'clicked' for her when she followed the steps and totally surrendered to a higher power. I didn't get it, I still don't get it, and I intend to go read the 12-step section to try and work it out.

On one level, though, this did resonate with me. When I think of "logic and reason", it makes me think that it's "logical and reasonable" that I should be working harder than I am, putting more hours in, concentrating more, being productive... AARGH! If the rational part of my mind (the one that's telling me "you should, you should, you should!") were in control of my actions, instead of just sitting there uselessly criticising me for failing to get anything done today, I wouldn't be procrastinating. "Rationality" doesn't help me, as I've got the wrong type of rationality in my head - my interpretation of reality is much more pessimistic and negative than it should be, so I can't sort this out with 'reason and logic', as the framework in my head makes my flavour of "reason and logic" the enemy.

That's not to say it won't work for you (especially if you're more rational and realistic than I am!) and for us secular people, appealing to "God" definitely doesn't work, but I get the impression the HP thing might work because of its effects on your emotions & beliefs rather than your ability to reason your way out of procrastination (correct me if I'm wrong please someone!). e.g. I know that if I don't clean the house, do the shopping, apply for jobs NOW, or more accurately 1 hour ago, then the consequences will be that I won't have time to cook for the people who are coming round for a meal this evening (embarassing) and ultimately I will run out of money to pay my share of the rent and my co-habiting partner will lose all respect for me and potentially end our relationship of several years. I know this because it's been slowly happening over the course of the last year. I even know exactly what to do about it - it's not rocket science - but I'm so paralysed by anxiety and ennui (or something, dunno what it is, even) that day after day I can't get the simplest stuff done. So I need emotional strength from an external source, and for me I expect the community here is going to be my HP until I can learn the skills/change my mindset to make my source of strength internal!

Anyway, thanks for bringing this up, Crayon, and for taking action to do something about it by making the list, too!

It would be great to hear from other secularists what they substitute in as their "higher power". I reckon a lot of them are going to be like Somu_Sible and me, and HP to them will be friends/family/wider community. Does a thread about what your HP is exist on the site already? Please could someone link it if they know where it is?

Dave

thanks and my version

Hi there.

Many thanks for your 12 steps. I found this very useful and was inspired to write my own. I'm not a religious believer - not because I object to organized religion per se but because I'm simply not a person of faith or spiritual in any way - I just don't feel anything's out there watching over us, or that there's any universal purpose connecting us all etc.  However, I do find meditation very useful and feel that there's an unconcious strength one can reach through that that doesn't actually involve striving to use reason. I think this is where people get to when they successfully use hypnosis. I was helped to reduce my drinking by a hypnotherapist and had thought that she would help me use my reason and will power to drink less. But in fact she just took me to a place that switched off all the thinking and trying to reason with myself - a place where I could just be calm and drink less. Don't know if any of this makes sense. But here are my steps - 

Procrastinators Anonymous
12 Steps for the Meditating Materialist

1. We admitted we were powerless over compulsive procrastination, that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. We came to believe that, in conjunction with support, advice and expertise from outside of us, a power within ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this power, understood as as a place of wisdom, calm and kindness within each human being.
4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to relinquish all these defects of character.
7. Humbly meditated upon the place of wisdom, calm and kindness and trusted we would be able to relinquish these shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9.Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10.Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through meditation to improve our conscious contact with our place of wisdom, calm and kindness.
12. Having felt awakened as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to compulsive procrastinators, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.


Best of luck, 

E.EB.

Re EleanorBE's 12 step version

Oh I do like this one. Well done!

Clarification

Quick question. What is the "relgion part of the program?" you are talking about?

Did I miss something? I never heard/saw of a religion part in the 12 step program.  Where could I find it?

Thanks.

re: clarification

Hi.  I'm not sure I totally understand your question/confusion... All of the 12 step programs have a strong emphasis on God -- turning one's life over to God, praying to understand God's will, asking God to remove one's defects, etc.  The PA 12 steps listed under "meeting materials" reference God no fewer than 8 times and the 12 step workbooks that it appears many here are using contain daily prayers, references to the three spiritual gifts, etc.  There's a lot more, but I don't think I need to belabor the point.  Perhaps the use of the word "religion"was confusing?  I don't mean a specific religion, but rather religious (i.e. belief in a God-creator who is watching over you, prayer, etc.) versus secular. 

I think there are some wonderful aspects of the 12-step program, but as someone who is non-religious, I frankly don't know how to apply some of the steps in a meaningful but more secular manner--e.g. how would I go about turning over my will and life to the care of God (step 3)?  This is the reason why I was hoping to find others who've tried to adapt the program themselves to be a bit more secular (this too, as I understand, is quite common in 12-stop programs, e.g. interpretting "higher power" to be the support of the recovery community rather than a God, using meditation versus prayer, etc.) 

Hope that clarifies!

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Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. 

~William James

Thanks

Hi C-ray,I thank you and thoroughly enjoyed all your shares. I hope I did not offend you in any way and I am sorry if I did. We all learn what works for us by asking questions.

Thank you. Just picking your brain. I am the first to admit that I do not have the answers. I have researched every reigion there was as well as atheism, divine intelligence, etc. They all seemed like they wanted me to either be "in" or "out" All I know is that I have seen and personally experienced miracles and continue to in 12 step programs- so for me whatever is here works- I use the word HP, as well as no words. I just "know" it is there. Maybe if you could get to some 12 step meetings and listen to real, undisputed miracles, it would help. A miracle of a "to do list", is sometimes subtle, but when you witness a change in a person where you can no longer even recognize them, that only could be called a miracle. It might be easier to tap into that power. It can even help finding a wallet. I use it all the time.

This article may be of interest:

October 22, 1941

ALCOHOLICS HOLD CLEVELAND DINNER

CLEVELAND, Oct. 7.- Perhaps the strangest testimonial dinner ever held in this city took place Sunday evening. Nine hundred persons, all of them formerly addicted to drink, paid tribute to a former New York broker and an Akron physician who together started the movement known as "Alcoholics Anonymous." Also honored were the women who introduced them and the first convert to the movement. So carefully guarded were the names of the participants that none appeared in news accounts. It was revealed that 16 northern Ohio groups were represented, that there are now approximately 6,000 members throughout the country, and that Greater Cleveland alone has 1,400 members who meet weekly in 18 units.

The leaders claim neither religious sanctions nor reform motives. Their success is based upon anonymity and upon the ideas that every confirmed alcoholic wants to quit drinking and feels a strong bond with other victims of the liquor habit. Each reformed drinker helps himself by locating and assisting another alcoholic to abstain completely.

Hi Crayon0

Welcome.

I'm glad you're sharing who you are and what you believe. What I do is if I read someone share's whom I connect with or have similar views or interests with, I ask them to be a buddy. You are not alone in your beliefs and there is absolutely nothing wrong with your beliefs.

There are so many different and diverse people in these 12 steps. What brings us all together is our common bond of procrastination....and our needing help.

I also know for me that being in a group environment brings up stuff for me from my past, and it's truly not easy for me. I hope you stay with us, keep being yourself and I hope you find what you are looking for in a buddy.

hope4meandu

♥"Kindness and truth have met, righteousness and peace have kissed." Psalm 85♥

This is a place of many

This is a place of many different opinions and outlooks, but what we share (ideally) is an ethic of mutual respect and support. Incidentally, there are also secularly oriented 12-step addiction programs (but you might already know about those). The important thing, as I see it, is that for those with theistic and non-theistic outlooks to focus on what works for them and not tell others what they should or shouldn't believe in. And when we see someone expressing their own experience in language that seems to us unfamiliar or not relevant to our own viewpoint, to not take it personally.

In short, absolutely bring up ideas like this. I'm very glad you're here and contributing.

~~

Want what you have. Be who you are. Do what you can. ~Forrest Church

The Hero's Code:

Show Up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.

Of Course Not!!!!!!!!!!

Alcoholics Anonymous (The Chapter 4 We Agnostics, pages 44 - 57) Average reading time is 27 minutes.

 If you don;t have a copy, you can download PDF, MP3, etc. etc. files for free. You can even download MP3 files of Bill W before he died.

http://silkworth.net/freestuff.html

From 12 & 12 This is my daily struggle as well:

, all you really need is a truly open mind. Just resign from the debating society and quit bothering yourself with such deep questions as whether it was the hen or the egg that came first. Again I say, all you need is the open mind."

We who had won so handsomely in a walk turned into all-time losers. We saw that we had to reconsider or die. We found many in A.A., who once thought as we did. They helped us to get down to our right size. By their example they showed us that humility and intellect could be compatible, provided we placed humility first