A Power Greater than ourselves
Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Hi pro buddies,
I just found out that a medical test that I'm going for in a couple of weeks can be really painful, especially for women who haven't had children (which I haven't) so I'm feeling a bit freaked and scared at the moment. (And lonely. This is one of those times when I'd rather not be single. . . it would be very nice to have someone supportive at home to snuggle up with.)
When my doctor gets back from vacation, I'll call her and ask about meds, etc. But there's nothing I can do at the moment. So. . . naturally I'm wanting to react by putting off going to bed! Why my subconscious mind thinks that's a good plan, I have no idea, since I'll be better off & less stressed if I get enough sleep.
And it's already past my bedtime, so. . . time to go get myself ready for bed.
Good night, pro buddies! Thanks for being here,
Good luck, Falcon re: medical issue. I'm kinda avoiding one of mine right now. Don't want to do a test b/c afraid it might open a whole new can of worms during stressful time... You're giving me courage.
I hope it goes well, and that the conversation with your doctor eases your mind.
There is a proper balance between not asking enough of oneself and asking or expecting too much. - May Sarton
Hi Pro Buddies!
An end-of-the-day CI for me!
This morning, I walked to gym, did additional cardio, ab exercises and stretches.
At work, I did various projects, and some catch-up on busy-work projects. (Well, they are projects that need to be done, one way or the other, whether they are busy-work or not).
Lunch with friends. More projects in afternoon. Walked home after work. Wrote email to a friend, and sent another email. Now time to get ready to sleep!
Have a great night, everyone! :)
Thank you, gals & guys, for being here! :)
I love step 2, and it certainly was not difficult to believe that God could restore me to sanity. The hard part was believing that he would want to. I felt like I screwed up so much and so often, that I just could not believe God would want to waste any more time on me. My sponsor picked up on this and would have me end step 2 with- and he wants to, or else she would say it. I started believing it when I heard her say it to me- because I knew she would not say it if she did not mean it.
After reading other posts- I can just say ditto. I hope to check in with a plan later. My mind is so blank right now I can't think of one thing to do- I know I have a million things to do. I'll start with the vacuum right now. (no pun intended).
All things are possible with God.
Spent much of yesterday and last night decluttering email and bookmarks. More to be done. I have an email and an internet addiction.
Worked today on my money/underearning by reaching out to experts. This is also something I've been procrastinating on.
Added this site to my "morning coffee," so I should post more often.
Off to work for 3 hours shortly.
Stay warm and dry.
Gentlemen, I believe we have much to discuss.
(Robert Lansing as Control, The Equalizer, Trial by Ordeal.)
I've been dithering for 2-plus hours.
Need to focus on finishing Project E today.
Also a few other balls that I can briefly advance.
The Hero's Code:
Show up. Pay Attention. Speak the Truth. Let Go of the Outcome.
Rushing this morning, but a bit obsessed with posting my CI still! Be back later :-)
CAME TO BELIEVE GOD COULD RESTORE ME TO SANITY -AND HE WANTS TO! Love that Vic! Thanks so much for sharing - i have similar insecurity - i know better but still often feel as you described - praising God for washing my eyes to see!
Word and prayer for the day: Ex 33:14
The LORD said, " I will go with you and give you peace."
"My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."
My to do list: spent most of day at school with dd or getting thingsready or it - so a late start but determined to finish job2 sample
Read Bible/Pray, Dd school, finish last gift
School lunch 10:30, teacher gifts
jobM update invoice, email for payment Yay, did this and so I won't be overdrawn now in patst i would avoid invoice and pay for supplies with money that should be for personal expenses -praise God for progress!
Job2 really, really, really FINISH today –logo, sample, invoice, emails
email P, email E
dd school 2:30p
FINISH Thank you notes, photo cds, Clear email
Thanks Chick, your Tolstoy quote is so on the mark for me...a change of attitude that is so small and minute - I will close my eyes and take a deep breath and then focus on some beauty of nature. The clouds in the sky, a tulip bud, ....intangible and obvious energies create these things...I am part of that energy.
I am doing well, moving around and accomplishing tasks with very little puttering. Clothes are being hung on the clothesline outside, which I have never done before. I quite enjoy that task. I do smallclothes and towels in the dryer though, don't feel like wearing hard scratchy underwear or using hard scratchy towels!
Its raining today, and cold. I do need to start moving around so I can warm up! I am going to set my timer after lunch and spend time in my workroom - there is a huge pile of stuff that needs to be put away. I am pretty sure there is a bed under there somewhere!
Til later :)
Nothing is worth more than this day - Goethe
Hi all! Thanks for being here. Thanks for step 2 reminder!
Today I have a meeting. Also going to work on project one and finish if I can.
Went to the gym this morning, stopped by the grocery store on the way home, and made bacon and eggs for breakfast. I'm feeling kinda tired and down this morning but as I read over this I realize the day is really off to a good start, so I will just keep going and hope the mood will improve with activity. I have read email and checked my calendar, and working on my todo list now.
Today I want to decide what I'm going to do about mother's day, prepare for a test this afternoon for Project TF, finish my May budget, do BZ install,take one of the two (short) training courses that I need to do for work, and send out a letter that I've been procrastinating on. If I get that stuff done, anything else will be gravy.
See you in the chat box!
Time to get to work! Yesterday tasks took a lot longer than anticipated...I'm feeling behind today, but I'll just do the best I can.
Today is a busy day.
*DG's lab mtg
*List of TFs
*Email TH, EC, and MS; buy tickets; call home
*Review 3 graph. model lectures
*ID TFs changed in SMN
Right now, I'm going to do laundry, then I'll get list of TFs and head to class.
Ugh, I'm very tired and I still have a lot left to do.
However, my supervisor today was surprised and happy about how much I'd gotten done in the past week or so. So yay!
And I went to everything scheduled today, and got a couple tasks done, and went to church, and had a healthy dinner.
Now, I need to buckle down and work for about 30 min (on presentation), then I'll take a break, call AG and send emails etc. Then I'll get list of TFs, finish presentation and clean my room.
Turning on peppy music, heading to chatbox and starting work on presentation.
"When a man works he is always conscious of two beings in himself: the one works, the other appraises the work. The stricter the appraisement the slower and better is the work; and vice-versa, when the appraiser is under the influence of something that stupefies him, the more work gets done... ..... 'If I do not smoke, I cannot write....' is what is usually said, and what I used to say......... Remember, however, that the chief work actuating man's whole life is not done by his hands, his feet or his back, but by his consciousness. Before a man can do anything... a certain alteration has to take place in his consciousness...these alterations are almost always minute and imperceptible." ---Leo Tolstoy
Help me calm the critical voice and keep going today. I will speak gently to myself.
And that power is ... each other.
Did the minimum, then got side-tracked...hmm
self-care: meeting; spiritual reading; run in park; floor exercises; schedule shiatsu; make 1st dr appt; make 2nd dr appt.
school: Mo as priority; Pro & Ba as second priority; Bl as third; So Di (1v, 2v); So cles (qua vo); So Meli #12, 13 & 14.
household: quick run to market (just few things on list and out the door); store to replenish product; cook dinner.
Have to work on breaking times out tomorrow...
things take much, much longer than i think they will. my scheduling is still rather unrealistic. when i plan appointments, i have to allow for more transport time and leeway for possible delays, etc. i still try to cram too much in.
some days are better than other days. i know from practicing sports that the most important thing is to show up everyday... and in the long run, i will see progress.
today was more of a down day, but i've gotta look at the big pic.
also, i've started my old, old habit of picking up problems. when i listen to what hp is telling me (comes as "gut instinct" and/or clarity), i avoid problems. i've been good at it for a while, but have been noticing that i've been slipping the slippery slope this week.
it is okay, though. i know sometimes old habits tend to pop up again during trying times. just gotta be aware of it to fix it.
finally, i'm trying to embrace my ugly duckling phase in my work right now. ducklings are actually cute little things, but weak and needing of protection. so, i will try and be more gentle with myself during this phase of my development.
I think misjudging the time things will take is common for a lot of us who are procrastinatorially inclined. I know I often miscalculate on that. Sometimes I figure on the least amount of time something will take -- I leave too many things to get done in the morning before work, for example, and then end up running late when any little thing holds me up. Or, like you, I assume the best case scenario for travel time, and leave too late to get there on time in the real world (where there is traffic, etc.)
Oddly, I tend to go the other way and overestimate the time on a lot of dreaded tasks! Ex. I figure it will take forever to do my taxes, or write that difficult email, or whatever, so I put it off for ages, only to find that it goes really quickly once I sit down to do it.
So. . . I sympathize! Sometimes the only way to figure it all out is to use trial and error, and to remind myself to add in that "margin of error" for travel.
Ditto! the above could have been written by me Falcon!
Yes, I am realizing that too re: dreaded taxes. My taxes did take less time than I thought they would! :) Thanks for sharing. I guess learning about proper time allocating is part of my recovery here ! :)
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