Procrastinators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from chronic procrastination.
First Post! Kinda long...
Greetings,
For the past 4-5 months, I've convinced myself that I must be the only person in the world who lives like I do, embarrassed to even tell one person about my procrastination, because they wouldn't understand. This site, which I found while procrastinating, changed my insight.
So I guess thats step 1.
My Story: I'm 26, going on 27 in a couple months. I have a university degree (sociology). I've had three jobs since I graduated...all in sales. And let me tell you, sales is probably the worst career path if you are a procrastinator. You need to be very self motivated, and driven, and I am not. My first job I had while in school, and believe it or not, I loved it, and was great at it! However, it was retail sales, and the reason I was good at it is because people came to me for the product. When I got into the "real world" and got sales jobs that required me to go out on the road and cold call, I failed miserably.
I have been unemployed now for 8 months, and here is where my problem comes in. I cant bring myself to find a job. Ive narrowed down some reasons: 1. Fear (about the interview, about failing at ANOTHER job) 2. Uncertain (about my career path, what I want to do) 3. Lazyness: I find other things to do instead of look for a job. I literally wake up every day, grab my computer, and play internet games/search sites all day. Im so lazy I sometimes dont eat until 3 in the afternoon. I tell myself that next week I will start really looking for a job. Ive been telling myself that for 7 months now, and my unemployment is about up...its to the point that if I didnt have a family to fall back on in another city, Id be homeless.
Here's whats most depressing, really really depressing. If I cant do something so trivial as find a job (not a career, just even a job to keep me alive), how the hell am I supposed to function as I get older? When I actually have responsibilities? The way I look at it, I'm not going to have a wife or kids, I'll never be put in that situation because I cant even take care of myself.
Thanks for reading, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Aaron
The Catch 22: To stop procrastinating truly is a catch 22. Procrastinators want to stop their bad habits by completing tasks, and doing what they are supposed to be doing. But they can't complete the tasks because they procrastinate! Its a vicious cycle...
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Hi aaron, you've come to
Hi aaron,
you've come to the right place - you'll find plenty of support around here. I've been in your shoes - actually, I was and still am working myself out from even a bigger hole I dug myself - and trust me, it is possible to "recover" from this kind of chronic procrastination. For me, the turning point was when I realized two things: 1) why I was doing what I was doing (in my case, to protect my ridicolously low self esteem) and 2) that the most difficult step is starting a project, not completing it once started.
The book "the now habit" by N.Fiore helped me get a little insight on procrastionation (even if it absolutely didn't solve the problem when I first read it), but you'll also find a lot of useful resources on this website.
I sincerely hope you'll get out from this "addiction"
TheDuke
hi teddy
we've seen longer intro posts lol. i think there's something to procrastinators and long posts, not sure what yet tho.
i heartily agree with everything that byGodsGrace and chickadee said.
And i am so delighted that you have discovered you're not the only one. That was a huge relief for me, a huge blessing. And now i'm living out my life day to day among these ppl, as we struggle to recover from our shared problem. It's so amazing to post "i wasted the whole morning" and have people reply ikhyf (i know how you feel).
Just so you kno, i've been a chronic procrastinator since i was 15, that's nearly 30 years, and i have both a wife and kids. Honestly, sometimes i look back and can't figure out how i've made it this far. I think because things happen and emergencies arise and i just have to get something done. Sad, but that's pretty much how i've lived.
Another of the great things here is it's a very safe and supportive place to be honest with yourself. To say, i planned to look for a job, but i just played games instead. We have all been there and these people here are incredibly non-judgmental and supportive. That's unique feature of this fellowship, amazing when i think about it and so helpful.
Well, i better get my own self started on my work day now.
cya teddy
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the touch of the master's hand: http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/node/1898#comment-27748
"fall down seven times, get up eight" - japanese proverb
Welcome here; I hope you'll
Welcome here; I hope you'll find hope, support, encouragement and recovery. This place, and the 12 steps, which were totally counterintuitive to me, have helped me more than any of the other things I used to try. I hope you'll decide to come back and post again.
For myself, I don't really think I can stop being a procrastinator whole-hog, in one fell swoop, or whatever. I am learning to try to get the next 5 minutes right, ask HP for help to do the next right thing, learning day by day to stay busier and keep doing stuff (sometimes it is not the right stuff, but it's still much more than it used to be). It's still sometimes hard for me to break things into small steps and be wiling to use a small patch of time to face something I don't want to face...I hope I'm better at it now though.
Welcome Teddy :-)
Hi Teddy (Aaron)
I want to welome you and let you know just posting is a great first step! I know you will find hope here as I have - insight into your problem and how to overcome it, tools to overcome it, support and encouragement from people who care and KNOW how you feel! This site and the fellowship I have found here are a God-Send for me!
A few thoughts for now...waiting on dd to go to sleep again, and a bit sleep deprived so please forgive me if not perfectly stated!
I think we all have a capacity to be lazy, but I dont think you are lazy as I dont think most of us here are - we are avoiding feelings and the tasks and situations that bring them up and escaping into things that help us avoid them. One of the first things that helped me here was to stop thinking of myself as a bad or lazy person, but as a person with an addictive personality who does things to protect myself from feelings, fears, etc. and to approach this as I approached overcoming other addictions. I would guess that it is the feeling bad or down about yourself that causes you to escape into things that seem lazy, not actual laziness, then because it is comfortable there, you stay. The 12 steps and resources here really help and to start seeing yourself as needing help, not lazy or as someone who just cant get it together so something is wrong with me (what I thought). Its like you said a vicious cycle, we sabotage ourselves.
I encourage you to jump in here, read, use the daily Check Ins and chatroom - baby steps, I know you want to change and have no doubt with a little support you will :-)
I used to be in sales and I totally relate to your feelings, I finally got out of it, then back in kind of (working for yourself, you still have to sell your services) but in a less pressured environment. Its not wrong to realize a career is not the best for you or that it is not right for you right now. Just starting out and learning how to live differently and think about yourself and face feelings differently, you may need a different job than the career you will eventually grow into, thats OK, maybe taking the pressure off of yourself to do sales right now will help you.
I have a long way to go and much to learn, but it is great to know I am on my way! You are too! So glad you found the site and looking forward to getting to know you and share in recovering and overcoming!
2 Cor. 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."