Procrastinators Anonymous

It is time for me crawl out of the ditch that I am in. It is going to be very hard and daunting task because it is a deep ditch and at this point I cannot see out. To be honest I do not know what life is like to be out of the Ditch so I hope I will know when I have accomplished getting out of the ditch. Life has gotten so much better since this original post. I do not know if I will every get out of the ditch but I have come to realize that it is not the ditch that I am in but how a deal with the "stuff" that is in the ditch with me. Well I have not delt with the stuff in the ditch very well over the last 10 days. I think part of my problme is that I am thinking about dealing with stuff in the ditch that just need to be left only. (Trash that others have thrown in my ditch or stuff that I think is important but it really is not) 9/30 I can say that I am still in the ditch but I am handling it so much better. The main thing is that as long as I keep trying it get better.

10/27/08 Well I had not planned to make adjustments to this post at this time I had only planned on checking in. However it is important to plan and get "stuff" together. Hopefully that is what I have accomplished by reformatting my project post. Usually when my back is up against a wall I can work very effectively. This has been the case over the last week and a half planning and organizing my Schools Spirit Week and Homecoming. Well now all is said and done with all the important stuff that people will see. I have now lost my intensity and I am trying to slide back into my reactive mode. I am torn by what to do next. Not that I do not have many projects on the burner that are very important, I just do not feel the intensity that a felt trying to get Homecoming week together. I know everything else I have to do I can slide by on. I want to change, I am tired of sliding by. I want to be more proactive so I hope that the reformatting of my project post will help me become more accountable and move me toward becoming more proactive. Since this post my intensity for level has improved and I am sure it is because of my participation with this membership. By establishing my routines I have felt more productive and my intensity level was high and motivated by my routines. I just need to learn how to incorporate other part of my life into my daily routine. Projects that I want to accomplish on a personal level. I tried to do that this past Sunday but I refused to do anything that was not just for me. I thought and thought and thought about what I could do that would be just for me and I am so programed to do for others that I could not even think of one task to do that would be just for me so I took a nap. I am going to have to find something that is just for me to do so that I can feel that I am giving myself some attention. 9/30 well it is homecoming time yet again. I have gotten class elections done but spirit week and the homecoming court is not even in the planning stag, at least not on my part. I have a committee that is helping me this year and 3 of the member have not completed their part or so I have not yet to see evidence of it. I am trying to allow them to do their part, as I can be very controling yet as a professional I was letting them handled it. Well homecoming is less then 3 weeks away and nothing has been done. I am going to have to do something it is important that the kids have a great homecoming weeking and eventhough I have passed it on I can not allow what I have built up over the past three years be subject to las minute piss poor planning. I still have not managed to find something to do for myself. My daughter has started playing travel ball and so we are out of town about every other weekend. I love to travle so that is good, I like spenidng time with the parents (mostly mom's), it is such a joy to watch my daughter become a better ball player, I am the teams photographer, I take pictures and then load them on an on-line photo sharing site. So I am very involved but the results of my efforts is for others. Maybe that is how it is supposed to be.

11/9/08 this post has been very important in guiding my daily activates and helping me stay focused. I do however, need to go a little deeper and set some more longer short term goals so that I am not just focused on accomplishing daily task that just keep the fires at bay but goals that will help me begin to realize some of the dreams, hopes and aspirations that I have for my life and my families life. I am quite anxious to do this yet I also want to hold back. I have accomplished so much over the last 3 weeks. I have kept my momentum rolling and stayed focused, I am afraid that putting more demands on my time will cause me to have a set back and return to my normal routine of being complacent. Reading over this post really hit home, because of my am and pm routines that I have established I can see some of my hopes and dreams that are with in arms reach. I have realized that the hopes and dreams that I have revolve around me doing things for others which is fine but I am really tired of doing for others and not getting any appreciation in return. Everyone just expect but is not willing to help. I have fallen short on am and pm routine, the transistion for working to not working is been very difficult. I have not accmplished very many long term goals, some have been started but are incomplete. However in my mind I see all the pieces that are need to be more effective, I am having are hard time taking them from my mind to reality. But I can see it now where in the past I have never been able to see it.  

I have currently been working on decluttering my life. My progress has been slow yet steady. At this time I have been working towards organizing my children’s clothes, so I am going to identify I goal beyond decluttering clothes. I have a accomplished this -- at least until the next season change. The next season is coming soon I have to think of a way to get my kids to help me with it. 9/30 this is sad but my clothes are still not organized ): but I can see now that this has to be a priority in my life, so that I can accomplish.

The goal that I am going to set is to have my children’s bedrooms ready by Christmas eve. This may not seem look a major goal but at the current time my children share a bedroom. This did not happen but it was because of poor planning on my part. (Trying to put to much on my plate) Bedroom is still a work in progress hope to have sons done by March. 9/30 not done but in progress that is all that I can say at this point. Goal will have to be November 2010.

In order to accomplish this goal. I will have to declutter their bedroom, my bedroom the bathroom and hallway. I will have to move everything in my bedroom to the playroom. In order to move my bedroom I will first have to weed through and move 9 years of toys. The playroom will be moved to the room above the garage. Before I can move the toys and stuff to the room above the garage I will have to declutter the room above the garage. Work in progress. 9/30 still a work in progress toys are done   

The rooms will need to be painted, they will need new furniture and my children will have to decided how they would like to have their room decorated. One of those goals that is within arms reach. 9/30 Sons room is painted,

This is a goal that my husband and I have both discussed and is probably the first time that we have been in agreement about something that needs to happen at our house. Usually we are at opposite ends of the spectrum. So I am going to have my husband help me make the decisions on when and what needs to be done. Hopefully he will help me to focus and provided some motivation and in the end we will have accomplished something as a family. 9/30 it has been a family project that everyone has taken part in.

11/14/08 Found the perfect bed for my son's bedroom, he loves it. It is a loft bed so it will take up  very little floor space.   He is gettting the smaller of the two bedrooms so it is very important that he feel his bedroom is as perfect as my daughters. We are all so excited to begin this project. 9/30 bed has been bought and assymbled

12/13/08 Updated Living Life Taken Action. I have been really sick for the last 2 weeks and have not made much progress. However I have not completely fallen short. Feeling much better now and getting back on track. Well I lost some momentum during this time and bounced back a lot quicker then I ever had before. I am at this same point again, the positive is that I am reflect and not starting over which is a good thing. Thank God for this site which give me that opportunity. 9/30 Thank God for not starting over, several times this year I have been tempted to stop using the routines that I have developed and established here. Thinking hey I need to buy a new notebook and create a whole new program, or I need to buy this selfhelp book and try to apply the principals. But I have not when I fall down I just pick back up and return to my routines. Each time I fall down and pick back up I have yet another lesson learnd that is helping me to build my ladder that will help me get out of the ditch.

12/21/08 Still trying to pull myself out from being sick. I has really set me back, but now it is time to get a plan of action together for the next 3 days. This plan helped my accomplish many taks but I did not have complete success.

12/29/08 Developed a 7 day 20 min task list. Very effective in helping me establish my am and pm routine. My am an pm routine have been very helpful at least until I realized that it was enableing me to procrastinate. I do not need to get ready of them but I need to realize that there is something beyond them. However, I need to find something beyond them that is for me and not any one else.

1/4/09 Not in a very happy place right now. A bit down and discouraged but hopefully updating my Living Life post will help pull me out of the place that I am in. I have to take a min. and review my previous post and spend a few minutes reflecting. Post has been reviewed and I am ready to reflect. Well I have come a long way since the start of this post on October 18, 2008. I have many milestones to recognize and I have several areas where I have fallen short. Milestones: Laundry stays caught up, van stays clutter free (most of the time), Bills are caught up and I actually have a good idea of what my bank balance is. My sons bedroom is ready to be painted, have removed a about half of the toys from the playroom, I have decluttered my childrens clothes. The area that I need to work on the most is one given myself credit for my accomplishments, not setting my standards so high, spending time doing something that I enjoy, and planning more effectively. My 7 day 20 min task list was very helpful in keeping me motivated and on task during my week home. I thought that it would keep me from getting depressed when it was time for me to go back to work after a week off. I usually get depressed and I always thought it was because I felt that I had not accomplished much. Now I know that it is not the case. I think I could have moved mountains and I would still be depressed about going back to work. I also know that it is a feeling that many of colleagues have as well. I do feel that I would feel better if I had worked on my school work a little more of the break and that I would feel better prepared. I did work on my school work more than I usually do but it was not enough. I actually think my 7 day 20 min task list enabled me to procrastinate with regardes to my school work and therefore I did not accomplish what I would have liked to. It is difficult for me to plan and spend time on school work, because it is never done and it can always be done better. Some how I have to come up with a plan of action that will make me feel satisfied about the work and time that I spend on school work. Anyway enough reflecting at this point I need to take some action after all that is what this post is about. I am posting here because I am in a fog and I think that part of the reason for the fog is because I am comming off of a 3 day weekend with two teacher works days behind that. Transistion back into my work routine following a long break caused me a certain amount of depression. On the upside it is not to bad this time. I thank that that while I have fallen down it is not to bad and I can easily pull myself back out and get back to status quo within a day. I just need to think about myself once I get back to status quo. Something for me. 9/30 after reading this I am so proud of myself I would say that I am at this place again but my mental mind set is so much different. Very positive and I know that I can do it.

1/12/09 This weeks everything is a work in progress. Very busy week and I am going to have to follow if I am going to reach my deadlines and realize my goals for the next two weeks. So here goes and good luck to me.

1/14/09 Usually do not post here for general daily planning purposes but I feel the need to reflect, regroup and set (once a gain) goals, deadlines. This post is the best place for me to do this. Right now I have some time that I can not do much else but sit and a computer and monitor students so I am going to work on revamping my "Living Life - Taken Action & Getting Results" post. Good luck to me. Thank God for this post and this site. Ditto

1/20/09 Things are going pretty good a little bit of depression creeping in. After going back through and making comments on my post here I think that I have decided why I am in such a fog this evening. It is because of a decision that I have to make and do not want to make. It really is not a tough decision at all. Tomorrow is a teacher work day and it is an optional work day at that. Because of the snow today (which as an optional work day) they closed the school and told us we did not have to come into work today that we could make it up at the end of the year. I went to work anyway because the roads where not bad and it just did not make sense to stay home when I had to get stuff prepared for my new classes. Well I got most of my work done and I am about 85% ready. I have what I need to finished the other 15% here at home. Well home is a totally different store. I have worked hard and gotten Christmas put up but now I have to have my house ready for a slumber party on Friday. It is far from ready. So my decsion to make is not go to work tomorrow and make the day up at the end of the year (which I am sure admin will let me do) and work on my house one more day or go to work and struggle the rest of the week getting my house in order. Well I have talked myself into it and will stay home from work most of the day, I will need to go in and review my marks edit sheet and meet with a couple of people which should take about (including travel time) 3 hours. Feeling much better at this point. Time for my PM routine.

2/10/09 I have not updated this part of my post in a while. I have fallen down and I am trying to get back up. Mentally I am trying very hard by physically I am doing nothing about it. My daily routines have fallen by the wayside and I have a huge back log of stuff that needs to been done in order to obtain......not sure what it is that I am trying to obtain. Peace of mind....organization..... perfection....routines.....I really do not know. My mind just keeps spinning around and around I can not understand why it is so hard to start. I was doing very well but I got frustrated because all I was doing was the same routines over and over and over. I felt as if this was not a beginning in site. I wanted to move on to other stuff but my routines kept me from moving on. I think that they have enabled me to procrastinate on other stuff. In my mind as long as I was getting my routines done I was not procratinating. My routines are a good thing and I need to pick them back up but I also need to fact in some projects or task above and beyond them. I am really discouraged with myself because I have allowed it to come to this. My mind set now is to review over this post that I can go back and experience some of the success that I have had with the hopes that it will pull me up out of my "funk". Going to do that now. Well I have gone back over my post and spent some time reflecting. The main thing that I have discovered is that things are not that bad and that I need to find something to spend my time on that is for me. Feeling much better and some what motivated. Tomorrow I will being to return my life to status quo and then being working on a plan for ME. 9/30 As I read this post I realize how important reflection is I need to do more of it.

5/8/09 I think that I should be happy with myself. My life is much better then what I give my self credit for (or give HP credit for). I have hope of a bright future. Even though at times I stop dead in my tracks and shut down, over the last 6 months I have made major progress. I can remember saying that I will always be this way. This statement my be true because I am a who I am but now I have things in place (routines) that help me cope with the negative effects of my procrastination. One positive thing that I know is that once I get a routine in place I can work it very well. Right now in my life I am in the process of getting some positive routines in place and I just have to realize that when things do not work they way that I feel they should I have to be patient and work my routine. I have to be flexable and make adjustments. Task and routines are like a circle they just keep going around and around. This is very frustrating for me but the alternative is worse. If I never had any task or routines to complete or work on then I would not be here. I am thankful for my life, including the task and routines. I am thankful that I have the opportunity to continue to grow. Everything is an opportunity I just have to decided how to make the most of that opportunity.

4 months later 9/30/09 -- I have done well and I am very excited about the progress. While progress is not what I had hoped it would be I now that there is growth and what more can I ask for. Go Hope Faith