Procrastinators Anonymous

Hi Chemgirl,

I know that for me, encouragement and support can be really helpful.  It means a lot to know that I'm not isolated and that other folks are cheering me on.

One thing I find helpful about this forum is that most people, being procrastinators themselves, already know what doesn't help, because they've already been subjected to all the unhelpful stuff themselves (like criticism, nagging, telling them what to do, and anything that starts with "why don't you just. . .?")   So most people are really good about not doing those things to each other here.

The things that do help -- for me at least -- are empathy and understanding, and recognition of how hard change is -- and how worthwhile it is.  I especially enjoy it when we can notice each others' accomplishments, since the rest of the world may not realize that getting the dishes done is a triumph to be celebrated!  A lot of us are hard on ourselves (probably from years of internalizing all that unhelpful stuff!) so it can mean a lot to have someone notice and acknowledge what we're doing well.

So. . . my suggestion would be to keep on offering words of encouragement if you are moved to do that, keep it positive, and stay sensitive to how people respond.

Falcon

Thanks for your responses, they help me a lot. I'd say you definitely shouldn't butt out

 Achieved so far:

STOPPED MY SELF FROM SURFING!!!!!!

• morning routine                                   started 9.10
• finish evo test and put it on line             done 10.25
• emai MA                                              done 15.15
• 1 hour house work to prep for cleaners   done 9.10 
•  clear kitchen counter of paper               done (sort of) 9.10 
• sort dining room table
• check on mother                                   done (took a while) 9.10
• phone call for mother
• check back in

10.25
completed am MIT amd MUT and feel tempted to ?????
checking to report the MIT and to keep on going!
Next ? complete morning routine and get dressed

15.15
Not sure where the last 4 hours went.
I showreed, dressed, walked doggy,checked on mother again, had lunch and  run an errand.  Lots to do but where to start?
OK.

• try to cheer mother up with a walk and a coffee
• sort dining room table
• look for documents for moters phone call and her pharmacy grant
• check in when done

"Recovery from procrastination means doing what you say you're going to do, when you say you're going to do it."

Thanks Convalaria, since you've been posting about your skin care routine in the evenings, I've been more likely to do mine . . . Most of the time I go to bed without even taking off my makeup, if I even remember to put makeup on!

Jo

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." 

Not doing so great...the genetics test was much harder than expected, apparently I didn't study enough. And I didn't get a chance to read through the miRNA papers, which means I couldn't go to the students-only discussion of them, which means on Friday I'll have a tough time at seminar. And now I have a mtg w/ PF at 3:30, which I'm not at all ready for. Also I never took notes from the mtg w/ PT yesterday. Argh! The combination of procrastination and overscheduling is not a good one

Deep breath, it is what it is and I just have to make the best I can of the situation. I'm going to prepare as much as I can for the meeting, then just keep it short and be honest about what I've gotten done. (I've got 3 hours to prepare, so I think I can have a non-embarassing amount done). After the meeting I'll take notes on what I discussed at this meeting. Then I'll take notes on what was discussed at the meeting with PT. 

Then I'm going to go to the student office and try to get through 3 problem set problems. Then, I'll go home, carefully write up the SCG problem and email PT. 

To prepare for the meeting, the most important task is to work out the math for PP and try it out. If I get a chance, I'd also like to brainstorm why STRING didn't work and plot a distribution of the STRING weights. 

hardest MUT: worked on this and sent it off--a lot of resistance. (Tells self: it feels good to have done this--remember that.)

corresp: done

11 am thing done

some of 1 done; 2, I know realize is less urgent and was way of hiding from an MIT. I will try to take a few small steps for the MIT--open folder, assemble stuff. One tiny step and then a break. I have now faced some of the scary MITs and MUTs that I didn't list.

I'm still not being completely honest with myself about how I list things.

However, I am making progress on facing things instead of avoiding them and making myself conscious that overcoming fear and resistance is possible and feels good.

Confession time now: this is tough. I am checking in one last time today and forcing myself to be absolutely honest:

I have not touched the biggest scariest long term ITs. There are a lot of urgent short term UTs, some bring rewards in helping others. I could avoid the ITs forever and fob myself off with self deception and UTs. I hope I can get closer to my motivation for the MMMITs and find the courage to face them. One step, one small small step, just to start.

Still, I have learnt not to beat myself; I am doing much better than I was even a year ago, a long slow emergence from depression etc etc-so just finding the habits of getting things done and having a good routine with good energy is progress. I am also doing way better at positive attitude and starting the day well.

Deep breath--one step at at time. Tomorrow is a new day; please let me find the courage to make real new starts at the things I still avoid.

8.50pm Wednesday:

Was having an emotionally exhausted (and physically exhausted) day today but doing OK, until dd's nap time, at which time I messed around online for 45 mins, thinking that I would work after that (but still, was procrastination rather than a proper scheduled break) and then dd woke up and wanted to be nursed back to sleep at which point I fell asleep too

So I haven't made any more progress on MITs, as after dd and I woke up, I got a call from her older sister's school saying she had hit her head and could I come get her.  She was fine, but that put a stop to work on my thesis for the day.  Now both are in bed, but I am still not working - dh is at the gym but when he gets back he is going to help me with some formatting stuff, which means I will get something done, but I am disappointed with myself not to have worked earlier when I had the chance.  Will try to check back before bed, hopefully feeling more positive (good news is I feel a lot better tonight, less like I am swimming in treacle).

Got some good work done tonight, finally.  Feel much better about today (and also, house is v tidy, laundry caught up and got lots of things that were kind of bothering me, but not totally urgent done this morning).

MITs for wednesday:

-Open thesis file done, made myself at least do this which is easiest part.  Now going to enter refs to easy myself into task

-enter 5 references

-read through A stuff Done, and this was something I was very stressed about

-Write one paragraph on A 

-Go to pool to book dd's swimming lessons for next term did this, but because dh (and me as well) forgot to make a note of when it needed to be done we missed the deadline so now dd will have to miss a term of lessons.  Feel pretty bad about that, but not as bad because it was dh who lost the slip telling us when to do it.  Still v. sorry about it though

-Go to WS to discuss counselling done, yay, this is something I have been putting off for a while

And less important:

-sort dmil's birthday present

-buy spray bottle done - in fact did a lot of less urgent things this morning, now dbaby is asleep need to get onto thesis, most IT of all, but finding it hard

Have a lovely day all